The Skinny on... Molly McGuinness

What’s your favourite place to visit and why? 
Stockport Emporium is my favourite place. There’s nothing I love more than buying random vintage tat and then getting a tuna melt and a cake in the cafe.

Favourite food and why?
Jalapeño and Cheese Max crisps. Greatest crisps of all time. I like the way they burn your mouth, it’s badass. They had Mission: Impossible on the packet for quite a while. Any crisps with Tom Cruise on are the crisps for me.

Favourite colour and why?
Yellow. It’s loud, it’s garish, it’s camp, it’s the colour of both the sun and urine and also Jalapeno and Cheese Max! Beautiful.

Who was your hero growing up?
Oh God, it was probably Hilary Duff. I just liked her vibe, she always acted slightly awkward in everything she did. To be fair I think I just fancied her.

Whose work inspires you now? 
Nathan Fielder. The new season of The Rehearsal is unbelievable. The guy became a pilot for a laugh, he put every other comedian to shame.

What three people would you invite to your dinner party and what are you cooking? 
Gary Busey, Trisha Paytas, and I’m gonna have a dead person if that’s alright… David Gest. I wouldn’t cook, I’d order a KFC and film a mukbang together.

What’s your all time favourite album? 
Paul Simon – Hearts and Bones. I didn’t realise it was my favourite album until I found out it was the first thing I asked to listen to when I came out of a coma. It’s beautiful and the whole album is about Carrie Fisher just after their divorce. Iconic.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? 
Clifford. Martin Short acting like a little boy gives me the creeps. Disturbing.

Who or what makes you laugh the most? 
Kay’s Cooking.

Who’s the worst? 
Simon Pegg.

When did you last cry?
Brian Wilson’s death! He was such an angel and the world feels a little darker without him. God, I’m going to cry again now just thinking about it.

What are you most scared of? 
I didn’t think I had any fears but after being in a coma from being really sick with sepsis, I had all these insane coma dreams that made me face all these deep fears I didn’t know I had. Turns out I’m really scared of cowboys that work in Burger King who want to saw my legs off.

When did you last vomit and why? 
After I saw the Sugababes a few months ago. It was one of the best gigs ever. We felt young again! We went to a club and I became the person I never thought I’d be. I forced every young person I saw to guess my age… making them compliment me on looking young although it was very clear I was over thirty. Then I puked.

Tell us a secret? 
I don’t have a big toe nail on my left foot. For years I told people I loved wearing socks all the time, even when I had sex. By the way, it’s not a fungal thing! It was from a skateboard accident, way cooler.

Which celebrity could you take in a fight? 
Sharon Osbourne. It would be very scrappy but I think I could.

If you could be reincarnated as an animal, which animal would it be? 
I asked my boyfriend this the other day and he said a monkey with tits but my best mate said I’m a dung beetle.

What’s your favourite plant? 
Snake plant, also known as mother-in-law’s tongue. I’ve loved them since I saw one in the film Blue Velvet so they feel very Ledynchian and mysterious. Also they don’t need much watering so they are really easy to look after.

What’s your top tip for surviving the Fringe?
Make sure I give myself enough time to do non Fringe-y things like go to the penny arcades at Portobello Beach or the cinema. I love the cinema in Edinburgh because it has 4DX where they spray water and wind at you, although the only film I know that comes out in August is the new Freaky Friday. I’d love it if they used it so Lindsay Lohan can spit on me.

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Molly McGuinness: Slob, Monkey Barrel @ Cabaret Voltaire (Cab Vol 2), 28 Jul-24 Aug (not 11,12), 2.55pm, £5-10 – tickets via edfringe.com
@mollehmcguinness on Instagram