The Dullest Blog: Comedy ramblings to inspire the dullest moments of your week

11 Things the List Operators have learnt about Edinburgh:

1. Newtown is old.

2. Hen parties can strip the meat off a Chippendale is less than 5 minutes.

3.The trams are on their way, apparently.

4. The national food of Scotland appears to be baguettes.

5. It's impossible to do the monster mash after eating at Monster Mash.

6. You can spot a local by their nonchalant attitude toward military gunfire in the early afternoon.

7. No-one plays bells at the Sandy Bells, bows at the Bow Bar and The Tron has nothing to do with being trapped in a life or death struggle inside an Atari.

8. Nae bother means no worries!

9. The Cowgate appears to be very effective - are are hardly any cows anywhere in the city.

10. Contrary to Ian Rankin novels there aren't bodies strewn all over every close and wynd.

11. There is nothing regal about the Royal Mile in August.

 

 

Top 12 Things to do with Unwanted Flyers.

1. Sit in The Elephant House cafe, bind them all together and release them as “Harry Potter and the Magic Whatsitsname” and watch the dollars roll in.

2. Stitch them all together and make a hilarious suit.

3. Paper cut your way into hospital and then sue the festival.

4. Send them to Stirling - that place could do with a bit of culture.

5. Start your own origami group, fold 1000 paper cranes and wish your way to Ibiza

6. Cut out the letters to write your ransom notes.

7. Give them to your local charity shop – they need donations urgently.

8. Pile them on top of each other, hollow out the middle and rent out the space.

9. Pick a random show and attempt to collect every single flyer for it.

10. Keep them and put on a show next year where you stand and read out every flyer you got give the year before. Have a pun in the title - something like “Come Flyer with Me” or “Flyer me to the Moon.”

11. Build a life size paper mache model of old town and move there for the month of August.

12. Send them all back to where they came from – Australia

 

The List Operators,Gilded Balloon Teviot, everday day until 31 August, 5:30pm