The Dullest Blog: Comedy ramblings to inspire the dullest moments of your week

Last year, when I came to Edinburgh, I struck up a friendship with Nadira Murray who was at the Fringe with her one woman show 'The British Ambassador's Belly Dancer.' She is a very sexy lady and her performance left many a gentleman captivated. After our shows, we would be outside on a picnic bench scoffing our Well Hung & Tender burgers and an unending procession of men would stop and declare their admiration for her. One day, I was in the gent's toilets at The Gilded Balloon when some graffiti caught my eye. 'I'm in love with a belly dancer - lucky ambassador' Wow! What a seal of approval!

I took a picture of it and showed it to Nadira who was so suitably impressed that she used it as her default picture on Facebook. Graffiti is brilliant. It's better than any review. It's impulsive. You touched somebody so much that they whipped out their pen and declared their support on a toilet wall.. They couldn't even wait to get to a computer and Twitter it. Plus, it's just a bit subversive, it's naughty, it's illegal. Somebody took a risk on your behalf. I was overjoyed for Nadira and her 5 star graffiti review. But I was jealous. I wanted graffiti too.

Fast forward a year and I'm back at the fringe with BULLY & Killing Me Softly. I bump into Kate, my PR guru outside the Gilded Balloon. She gives me a rundown of what's happening and we have a quick chat, then just as we are parting company she says, 'Oh yeah, I was in the Loft Bar last night, somebody's written 'BULLY is the best f*** of the festival' on the ladies toilet wall.'

Wahooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! The look on my face was as if I had just won a Fringe First. I have received the highest accolade of the festival (although a strange one as I haven't f***ed anyone here!). I'm going to stick that phrase over all my posters. I'm a very happy boy. I feel like I should do some kind of acceptance speech.

Ladies and Gentleman, it is a great honour...

Catch Richard in Bully, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 12:45, until 31st