The Skinny on… Stuart McPherson

What’s your favourite place to visit and why? 

My family home in Fife. There’s always roast chicken and we watch quiz shows round the clock. My sister has a Jedi-like control of the Sky remote, which means we never have to listen to the contestants bore on about where they’re from or what they’ll spend the prize money on. It’s just pure quizzing. 

2. Favourite food and why?

Chips make me feel glad to be alive. 

3. Favourite colour and why?

Green. It feels tight to me that green’s not a primary colour; it should be in there. It’s grass, it’s trees, and yet it’s in the second tier with orange and purple? That doesn’t sit right with me. 

4. Who was your hero growing up?

Tiger Woods, who seemed supernaturally cool and talented. Sadly, he disappeared from public life with a quiet dignity after winning the US Open in 2008 and hasn’t been seen since. 

Whose work inspires you now?

Nurses.

6. What three people would you invite to your dinner party, and what are you cooking?

Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and Instagram’s ‘Big John’. I’d cook the Beatles boys a nice lentil dahl, and me and Big John can get a Chinese.

7. What’s your all-time favourite album?

Tranquillity Base Hotel & Casino.

8. What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

9. What book would you take to a desert island?

Well it’d have to be something I’ve not read before, but that obviously opens up the possibility that I pick a shanner. And it’d have to be a novel – I’m not exactly firing into Atomic Habits on a desert island. I guess I’d finally have no excuse to not read Infinite Jest.

10. Who’s the worst?

The six or so tech oligarch freaks who are ruining the planet and making the human experience worse for profit. On a smaller level, inconsiderate people.

Image: Curse These Eyes.

11. When did you last cry?

To my shame, I’m not a big crier. Twice recently I’ve been on the verge at the end of watching something great – the film I Swear and Roger O’Sullivan’s Fringe show Fekken.

12. What are you most scared of?

Being found out.

13. When did you last vomit and why?

Last year I ended up going to the RTS Scotland awards as I appeared in my friend Stephen’s short film for three seconds. I celebrated those three seconds by getting as drunk as I have been in years. The next day, I had a work-in-progress show in Manchester, which made for an extremely challenging train journey. I ended up spewing around Penrith. I then checked the details for the gig and learned it started at 5pm and not 8.30pm and that my train got in at 4.58 pm. The show was actually really good, probably because I’ve never felt more alive. 

14. Tell us a secret?

I think enough time has passed now that I can say I didn’t like Bo Burnham’s Inside. Seems like a smart and interesting guy, though.

15. Which celebrity could you take in a fight?

It’d have to be one of the more timid ones. Richard Ayoade?

16. If you could be reincarnated as an animal, which animal would you be?

A posh person’s dog.

17. What’s your favourite plant?

There’s something satisfying about an aloe vera.

18. You’re currently on tour with your 2025 Fringe show Crisps and a Lie Down, but the question is, will we see you back at the Fringe in August, and if so, what can you share so far about the new show?

I am, but in a chill way. Me and Stephen Buchanan are doing a split bill for the first eight days at noon in Monkey Barrel. We’ll be doing new jokes and fannying around. There was talk of maybe trying to figure out some double-act elements, but, realistically, it’s unlikely we’ll be organised enough for that. So far we’re yet to fill out the registration form. 

19. It’s the Scottish Parliament election on 7 May. If you were standing, what would be the first three pledges on your manifesto?

I think you’d be in with a shout if you said you’d fix the potholes, have much tighter restrictions on vape shops and do something about all the fly-tipping. I just realised I was supposed to do a joke answer there, like, “make it illegal to put your bag on the seat next to you on public transport” etc, but it does feel great to have reached an age where you start to moan about the council in a genuine way.

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Stuart McPherson is currently on tour with Crisps and a Lie Down with stops in Brighton, Leeds, Manchester, Newcastle and Bristol before closing the tour at St Luke's in Glasgow on 28 May. Full details at stuartmcpherson.co.uk

You can also hear McPherson on the Some Laugh podcast alongside fellow comedians Marc Jennings and Stephen Buchanan instagram.com/somelaughpod