The Skinny on... Amy Matthews

What’s your favourite place to visit?
The condiments, sauces and pickles aisle of a supermarket. It feels like being in the BFG’s cave of dreams. If I’m feeling overwhelmed by life, I’ll go and look at some cornichons. There’s very little I can’t soothe by looking at pickled walnuts and a balsamic vinegar selection for a bit.

Favourite food?
Yoghurt. My girlfriend has dubbed my pretty-much-daily yoghurt my ‘thinking yoghurt’; I like to have a big sit, eat a little yoghurt and have some medium thoughts. Something’s going on with yoghurt at the moment though – it’s being marketed like industrial tarmac. They all seem to want to tell you how much protein they contain in a font that I’ve only ever seen in military recruitment ads.

Favourite colour?
Any kind of rich green and red combination. It’s the combination of classic canal boat paintwork; of Christmas; of a claret wine paired with gordal olives; it’s the palette of snooker; it’s a traffic light that’s trying to keep everyone happy.

Who was your hero growing up?
I can think of three off the dome. Children’s author Jacqueline Wilson, Paramore frontwoman Hayley Williams, and the naval administrator and diarist Samuel Pepys. Because we contain multitudes. What can I say – I love a risky writer with a bold haircut.

Whose work inspires you now?
Grayson Perry. Lily Allen. Wes Anderson. Tove Ditlevsen. Elf Lyons. Ben Edge. Rob Auton. Jess Fostekew. Lucy Worsley.

What three people would you invite to your dinner party and what are you cooking?
Farage, Trump and Musk. And I’ll be cooking lukewarm oysters and raw chicken in a ghost pepper sauce.

What’s your all time favourite album?
Kimono My House by Sparks.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen?
All art is subjective and all acts of creativity should be celebrated, even if it’s not to one’s own taste. But obviously Cats is the only correct answer here.

What book would you take to a desert island?
Apple’s Terms & Conditions. Think it would be cool to be the first person in the world to read them.

Who’s the worst?
Cafes that have signs like 'no we don’t have wifi – pretend it’s the 90s and talk to each other.' It’s like, you’re a card-only establishment…? You’re charging £8 for a coffee. If we’re pretending it’s the 90s, I could buy an actual flat for the price of your flat white.

When did you last cry?
I watched Hamnet at The Cameo. Good lord.

What are you most scared of?
That one day I’ll get a brown envelope through my door asking me to explain every error I’ve ever made and to account for every administrative task I’ve ever done.

When did you last vomit?
In Amsterdam. Next question.

Tell us a secret?
Okay I’ll admit it; I’m not convinced that I know the back of my hand very well at all, actually.

Which celebrity could you take in a fight?
The Microsoft paperclip.

If you could be reincarnated as an animal, which animal would it be?
An eel. Scientists still don’t fully know how they mate – it’s never been seen. So I’d like to be in on their secret, then come back with a better answer for the secret question.

What’s your favourite plant?
Black tulips. I love it when nature looks like it’s been directed by Tim Burton. See also, fiddlehead ferns.

Who're you most looking forward to seeing at Glasgow International Comedy Festival?
Amelia Bayler. There’s just no one on the scene doing what she’s doing. She writes comedy pop bangers with BRAT attitude, punk tunes with the grit and wardrobe of a rockstar, and tells jokes in a way that feels like your funniest friend is sharing her latest escapades in a cafe without any regard for the uptight old couple on the next table. She’s just killer.

This month's theme is existential crisis – how's 2026 treating you?
Terribly sorry to report that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. That’s not to say there’s not existential angst though. I woke up in the middle of the night last week wondering if lavender has to sniff a dry human to relax.

What's your Scottish winter survival tip?
The Six S’s: Surrender, Sup, Sip, Sound, Sense, Spin.

Surrender: stop wishing it was spring. Spring is coming. Anyone who has ever ordered a parcel with Evri knows that wishing something was coming doesn’t make it arrive any faster.

Sup & Sip: eat good food and drink good drink. In the house and out; alone and with folk; learn new recipes, cook old favourites. Order in. Make from scratch. Make cocktails or mocktails. Brew cosy concoctions. Go out for coffee. Have tea in bed. Have tea in the shower. Host. Guest.

Sound: listen to a new album. Stick the radio on in the background. Search for a topic and find a podcast on it. Have a total silence day where you just listen to the world around you.

Sense: seek out sensory experience. Sit by a fire. Go to a sauna. Go to a gallery. Go to a ballpit.

Spin: anyone who has spoken to me for more than five minutes in the last year knows how much I am obsessed with Spin. Tribe is the most joyful, fun, intuitive, community-feel space and you get to have a disco on a bike. Indoors, protected from the winter weather, but those endorphins will feel like sunshine when you leave.

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Amy Matthews: Definitions of Toast (WIP), Gael & Grain, Glasgow, 11 Mar, 7pm, part of Glasgow International Comedy Festival 

Amy Matthews: Definitions of Toast, Monkey Barrel (Tron), Edinburgh, 5-30 Aug (not 12, 19, 26), 3pm, part of the 2026 Edinburgh Fringe

Amy Matthews: Commute With the Foxes is available on vinyl via Monkey Barrel Records, £22