The QI Elves take No Such Thing as a Fish on tour

Who is the nerdiest person in the whole country? This is the question the QI Elves aim to answer during the first half of their latest tour show, Nerd Immunity. The assumption is that “the nerdiest person in [whichever town we’re in] will be at our show. We’ve decided that must be the case, right?” says James Harkin. “And then we go through and we ask people to send [in] what makes them nerdy.”

The range of results is what makes it so much fun, says Anna Ptaszynski. “The guy who wrote Hand-dryers of Europe was excellent, and specified that he was only halfway through what was turning out to be a three-volume series.” On another night, a particularly difficult toss-up could be between a “guy who’s a NASA engineer and the girl who says she’s broken the record for most hours spent playing on Goldeneye... They’re sort of equal there, in such different ways.”

The experience is a profoundly edifying one. One that reminds Ptaszynski that the quartet's listener figures are more than just numbers on a screen. They’re “curious, interested, weird, intelligent people,” from whom the Elves often hear their best facts. But when it comes to delivering the second half of the show, which more closely resembles an episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a crammed touring schedule presents some difficulties. 

“I’m very much a last minute person,” says Ptaszynski. For an upcoming Sunday gig she will “probably start researching… on Sunday morning [...] I live in a constant state of extreme stress and anxiety and it’s how I like to do it.” 

Harkin, on the other hand, is relaxed in the knowledge that his revision is already done. He says, “We all work in very different ways, I think, some of us are more crammers and some of us are more planners. [But] you don’t need to worry because it always will get done.”

They are, after all, veterans of the form by now, hitting the milestone of 400 episodes earlier this year. However, both recall how paradoxically, neither of them having comedy experience took the pressure off when the podcast launched. “No one was expecting we were going to be any good whatsoever, so it was just always a pleasant surprise when we’d get onstage and could make a joke.”

The pair look back on the embarrassing moments of the show’s early days with surprising glee. Possibly because the most vivid is not an on-stage fail, but rather an innocent case of mistaken identity by the international press. “We had that show in Belgium,” says Ptaszynski, “and what they picked up on was that one of our number was called Andy Murray, which he is, but of course they assumed they were going to get the Grand Slam tennis champion, Andy Murray. And so there was a little bit of hoo-ha... and possible disappointment when we turned up.”  

The mix-up has stayed firmly in their memory-banks. But it’s only natural that, with so much to retain week-on-week, not everything does. “There was one [fact] Andy had recently... We all said, ‘God that’s incredible, Andy! Wow, yes! Let’s do that!’ And then we did a search later through our archive of facts and turns out we’d said it about 200 episodes ago.”

Luckily, none of the team’s interests are too niche, continues Ptaszynski. “It’s more that everything that we start reading about or learning about, we find extremely interesting.” Which is what both she and Harkin feel they have in common with their listeners and A-grade guests alike, including Michael Palin and Mary Roach.

Harkin adds: “Mary [who has written such non-fiction bestsellers as Stiff and Packing for Mars] also has the same sense of humour as us as well, she just likes the rude things, she likes the – you know, she likes all the bodily functions…”

The QI Elves have four tour dates in Scotland this month, in Inverness, Edinburgh, Aberdeen, and Glasgow.  “I got married on Arthur’s Seat,” says Ptaszynski. “So that’s probably the place I most look forward to going when I get back.”

“I got married in Bolton,” says Harkin, like a splash of cold water. “[But] no, I mean Glasgow. I think it’s the best place in the UK for gigs. Like if you like a band and you can get away from your closest place, I always think going to Glasgow is the best place to go.”

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The Nerd Immunity tour comes to Eden Court, Inverness, 31 Aug; Music Hall, Aberdeen, 1 Sep; Usher Hall, Edinburgh, 2 Sep; and Theatre Royal, Glasgow, 4 Sep

Funny You Should Ask... Again: More of Your Questions Answered by the QI Elves is out now via Faber & Faber

New episodes of No Such Thing as a Fish are released every Friday, wherever you get your podcasts