Carl, Chris and Paul

Carl Donnelly: The Skinny, rather than do the work themselves, have asked us to interview each other about our Edinburgh shows. So, Chris, what’s your show called?
Chris Martin: My show’s called Chris Martin – No, Not That One
CD: Good title. How’d you come up with that?
CM: Just years of crap comments about my name. It was going to be Bathing Alone but that sounded like a show about me touching myself. It’s based on a book I read –
Paul McCaffrey: Chris Martin’s autobiography?
CD: Paul, what’s yours called?
PM: Saying Something Stupid 
CD: Was that your first title choice?
PM: I had some awful ones. Like Sitting On A Rainbow 
CD: I can see the flyers right now. You, sitting at the bottom of a rainbow –
CM: Eating Skittles.
CD: Mine is Carl Donnelly III: Carl Donnellyer. Above it on the poster it says The multi-award winning Carl Donnelly, so my name’s all over it.
PM: Just dropped 'Multi-award winning', didn’t you?
CD: My agent put it in there. So next question, why should people see your show? My reason is, I’ve won awards.
CM: I’ve got a variety of cardigans. I wear them onstage. And my show is funny. And I hate being on my own, so hopefully people will come and I’ll make some friends.
CD: What’s the minimum amount that need to show up for you to do the show?
CM: I’d do it for one. I’d take them for a pint and do it in the bar. That way I’d make a new friend.
CD: I think if there’s less than six people you have to do it in the bar. So Paul, why should people see your show?
PM: Same reason as Chris, it’s just funny.
CM: What else can you say? It’s funny.
CD: I know but that’s the kind of question they always ask in interviews: 'Why should people see your show?' 
PM: Don’t like your tits? Want to laugh them off? Come see our shows!
CM: What’s the shittest thing you’ve seen in Edinburgh?
CD: I hate those drama student groups trying to sell their show on the Royal Mile. All they do is paint themselves white and lie on the floor while one of them gives out flyers to their play about fucking divs.
PM: Sounds like you got in a fight with one of them?
CD: I dunno, you just get to an age when you hate drama students. I don’t have any issue with people wanting to study drama, but don’t lie on the Royal Mile getting in my way.
PM: I was a drama student and I hate them.
CM: It’s very self-congratulatory that stuff. They’re all like 'yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s amazing' but then outside of that circle I’ve never heard anyone enjoy it.
CD: Yeah, I’ve never known anyone go out of a student production of Hamlet –
PM: I’ve never known anyone go into a student production of Hamlet.
CM: I went into one about three years ago because there was a girl I was trying to have it off with. Two hours, no interval; I ended up replaying Die Hard in my head.
CD: So to finish, recommend three other shows.
CM: Benny Boots, James Acaster, Josh Widdicombe.
CD: Three young white men. You racist.
PM: Matt Forde. Seann Walsh. Roisin Conaty.
CD: Right, for me, Al Stick, Nathan Caton and Joe Wilkinson. So that’s nine shows other shows for people to see as well as ours. Go see them, don’t go see any of that shit with six 18-year olds doing King Lear.