Ask Auntie Trash: My Dreams are Dying
Our resident agony aunt ponders more of your theatre-based angst – this month, how does an actor handle spending more time making macchiatos than working the stage?
Hey Trash,
I trained for four years to be an actor. I graduated three years ago and I work in a coffee shop. Thanks to Facebook, I know that all my friends are doing so much better than me; they have agents, they have careers, and all I can do is make a mean macchiato. I feel like my dreams are dying slowly. Is it time to get a real job?
Yours,
The Eternal Barista
Hey hey Barista,
You already have a ‘real job’. You are working. You are earning. You are paying your way. The bills get settled, your rent gets paid on time, and after all that, you may even have a little left over for food or some kind of treat. And everyone loves Baristas, for they are the gatekeepers to coffee. I fucking love you, man.
Sure, making cup after cup of coffee for the general public isn’t the job that you trained for four years to do, and it isn’t what you saw yourself doing on graduation day, but you have some level of security. It can feel like life is just passing you by in a situation like this, especially when your uni pals, or friends from school plaster all their achievements on their Facebook page, Instagram account or Twitter for all to see.
But you and I and just about everyone on the planet know that what we put online is just a selection of the great and the oh-god-how-shit-was-that events that happen to us. So, while it may seem like your uni friends are doing well with their amazing new house that they’ve just bought, the new baby that they’ve just fired out, or the awe-inducing luxury holiday they're posting from (Why? Just... why? You’re on holiday, take a break from your own bullshit), you don’t know that for sure.
(Continues below)
More life advice from Auntie Trash:
"How do I get work in theatre?"
"What plays will get me a date?"
Keep off social media. Don’t compare yourself to others who seem to be doing so well, because they might not be. They might have had to put their own dreams on the backburner, they might be struggling with a career change, they might have no idea what it is that they want to do with their lives at all.
Nevertheless, it’s important to let you be you, and let your friends be them. In fact, if they’re just Facebook friends, then fuck ‘em. If you find that some people’s updates are a little more smug than you’d like, just delete them, or unsubscribe from their updates. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.
The most important thing that you need to do right now is stick to your dream of acting. If you feel like this fantasy is on its last legs, then you need to do everything you can to keep it going. Can you afford to drop a shift a week? If so, use that time to find new opportunities; open castings, auditions, more training – if you feel you need it.
Contact people you know in the industry, let them know you need an agent, that you’re looking for work. You don’t need to tell them that you work in a coffee shop and everything’s been a bit shit, all you need to tell them is that you’re keen to kickstart your acting career. If people don’t know that you’re looking for work, then they won’t contact you. Put yourself out there.
If you want your dreams to survive and thrive, then you can’t give up. Please, don’t give up, no matter how many doors are slammed in your face, no matter how many rejections you get, you can’t quit. You mustn’t quit.
Eternally yours,
Trash
Do you have a theatrical problem you'd like help solving? Email trash@theskinny.co.uk