The Dirty Dozen – June 2012
Still Flyin' – Spirits (Highline, 4 Jun)
Dean McClure: Described as 'San Francisco's favourite hammjammers.' I'm putting San Francisco and 'hammjammers' together and drawing my own conclusions.
James Allan: It does sound a bit hammy.
Cameron Findlay: It started off okay, but it's too nice a vocal. It needs to be more dirty.
James: Still Flyin'? Still sleepin' more like! This gets a bold two.
Hot Chip – Night & Day (Domino, 4 Jun)
James: I'm liking it, it's nice and funky.
Gary Pinkerton: But it's very polished, I don't think it's going anywhere.
James: I think you'd need to listen to this in a car, with the roof down, after nine pints.
Dean: You would definitely need some kind of aid. I was a fan of the first album, but this doesn't stand up really. I think this is what, a four?
James: I think a three.
Louise Quinn & Kid Loco – Oh Jackie (Tromolo, 18 Jun)
Dean: I could see my mum liking this. It's the sort of thing she would enjoy.
James: I want to hear the middle eight, you can tell there's going to be a middle eight. (Waits patiently) There was a pitch change!
Dean: It's a good vocal, but the song is very predictable. A five.
King Creosote – Doubles Underneath (from I Learned From the Gaels EP, Domino, Out now)
Dean: I'm not familiar with much of his back catalogue.
James: Neither am I. But I don't particularly like this.
James: This really isn't my bag at all. It's the sound of cycling down Byres Road with a wicker basket.
Cameron: A bike with a recycled wicker basket – a hemp basket!
Fraser Gillies: I don't think there's much wrong with it.
Gary: A six?
Dean: I think that's too high. Five?
Peaking Lights – Lo Hi (Weird World, 11 Jun)
Dean: I'm definitely hearing a reggae beat on this.
Cameron: It sounds like something out of Nathan Barley.
Stuart Brown: The bass sounds like something an animated cat would dance to.
James: Is that a good thing?
Craig Brown: Can synth-reggae ever be a good thing? It sounds like it's been made by someone sitting on their laptop in their bedroom, smoking a shitload of weed. How was it described in the press release? 'Uniquely eclectic.' Twats.
Dean: Give this a one.
Graham Coxon – Ooh, Yeh Yeh (Parlophone, Out now)
James: He's setting himself up for a fall with that title. Ooh, no no! It sounds plain, outdated, soggy. That song has been done a 100,000 times before.
Fraser: I'd give this a one.
Gary: It's not as bad as that, I don't think. I wouldn't go lower than a three.
Dean: If he's bringing this out as the second single from the album, I wouldn't want to hear the first. I'd give this a reluctant two.
Doldrums – Egypt (Souterrain Transmissions, 4 Jun)
Dean: It's a bit Animal Collective, isn't it? Tribal!
James: That's the kind of shit I like! [laughs] I think it's good, for what it is. It certainly doesn't sound Canadian.
Dean: Since when did you become the Canadian connoisseur?
James: A guy I worked with once gave me this huge compilation of Canadian music. It was like 18 GB or something stupid. I quite like this, I wouldn't ever say 'who's that?' if I heard it out, but it's a bit nuts, which I like.
Fraser: It's like a modern Wickerman.
Dean: I think this sounds like a four.
Linkin Park – Burn It Down (Warner, 26 Jun)
James: I'm really, really not looking forward to this. [listens] Yeah, this is absolutely terrible.
The Skinny: Can we make out what it is they want to burn down?
Craig: What should be burning down is the studio this was recorded in, along with everyone associated with producing it.
Stuart: It's basically exactly the same as I remember from 2002, but the music now seems to be produced by Lady Gaga.
Dean: We had very low expectations of this – and we weren't disappointed.
The Skinny: Marks out of ten?
All (in unison): Zero!
Clubfeet – City of Light (Pure, 18 Jun)
Cameron (reading press release): 'Melancholic indie-pop that sounds just as inspiring on a Monaco club floor on a Saturday night as it does on a lazy Sunday in a 1995 VW soft-top.' What the fuck?
James: It's lucky it's a sunny day in Glasgow outside, otherwise this would not be getting played.
Stuart: I'm really not sold on the chorus. I can imagine this getting this stuck in my head and hating myself for it.
Dean: Speaking of clubfeet, I'd like to say that I'd rather watch the scene from Misery than listen to this. And I hate that scene.
Gary: I really don't think this is as bas as that scene. It's not that painful!
Cameron: They should rename themselves Trenchfoot.
James: It's pretty bland Europop. It's a standard three.
Tom Williams & the Boat – Too Young (Moshi Moshi, 11 Jun)
James: It's not a good start is it?
Dean: I like it. I could kiss a girl to this tune.
Cameron: I really like his voice.
Craig: The start is terrible. I'm glad we didn't just switch it off after five seconds, because I was tempted. I think it's a guitar riff away from being a good track.
Dean: I think it's got the best chorus of everything we've heard so far. That's a better song than Liars, forget about the guitar riff!
Cameron: You can't forget about the guitar riff. I think a six at the most.
Dean: I think it's at least a seven.
[After much debate, the band finally agree that Tom Williams & the Boat will receive a six]
Caan – Into the Night (Camouflage Recordings, 11 Jun)
Dean: I'm synthed out! That's probably why I liked the last track so much.
Stuart: The downbeat music is actually alright, but the vocals ruin it. It's the sort of thing that a teenage girl would perceive as being moody and deep.
Cameron: I like the start if it, but the vocal's a bit off.
Dean: Caan.. we please turn this off?
Gary: This is only a small step away from Linkin Park for me.
Fraser: This is pretty bad. It's a one.
Cameron: Can we go negative?
Gary: It's a two, a standard two.
Single of the Month: Liars – No.1 Against the Rush (Mute, 4 Jun)
Dean: I wasn't expecting that. Sounds a wee bit like the Phantom Band, a more electro Phantom Band.
Cameron: I'd be interested to hear their other five albums, if this is them six albums deep.
James: Oh aye, they dropped the bomb there!
Dean: I liked that, more of that please.
James: I had wanted this to be bad, so we could have branded them liars. I think this is a seven.
Cameron: I really like it. It's different.