Figure 5 - Nitty Gritty

Though it seemed like the elevator to jangling, swaggering indie hell had long since surpassed its capacity, somehow, with the arrival of Figure 5 on the scene, yet another mob of loose-limbed throwbacks are shoe-horned into the doomed vessel. Fake northern accents send vapid sound-bites ricocheting round the steel walls and pretty soon the accumulating mulch of inane stomping drumbeats becomes too much to bear. Slamming my hand onto the emergency button, I prise the doors open and blissfully throw myself down the lift shaft into oblivion. Dragging one of the Fratellis to his early death provides some small consolation. [Chris Cusack]