Robbie Williams - Rudebox

Well, it's the day we've all been waiting for: Robbie goes hip hop - God help us all. Adhering to the 'composed on a Commodore 64' sound that established pop stars revert to when sales start to slump, Robbie's dulcet Stoke-on-Trent tones mumble on about rubbish for what feels like an hour. Despite this kind of exploitative gimmick working well for Madonna, somehow this effort manages to be offensive to women, former fans and frankly, anyone with ears. If there's any justice then this will be the death knell for the solo career of 'that fat dancer from Take That'. [Caroline Hurley]