WSP vs Croc @ Audio Lounge, 9 July
A recording studio nestled in deepest, darkest Maryhill might not be the ideal setting for the gig of the year, but the party of the year? Well, that’s something else entirely. The fruit of the twisted masterminds at Winning Sperm Party and Croc vs Croc, it features some of the more eclectic talents the UK has to offer and it all starts with the debut live performance of Scratchcard Lung, a hirsute trio that take Motörhead’s throaty vocals and punk bravado, douse it in bitter social commentary and then set the bugger alight.
As the night progresses, there’s plenty of opportunity to take in some odd and occasionally bewildering sights, like the ludicrously great Fem Bitch Nation who – like an ovarian cult paired with The Three Stooges – conjure up lusty tribal cacophonies and pop standards that even they can’t help giggling at occasionally. The vocal distortions and feedback drone of Trees prove to be as mesmerising as they are intense, and Manchester’s Sump – a startlingly aggressive duo that rely on a vocalist whose hellish bark is much, much worse than his bite – bludgeon the room with primal sludge.
It’s about midnight, it’s time for tonight’s de facto headliners Take A Worm for A Walk Week to appear and with a battle cry of “Taps fucking aff!” hell is duly unleashed. Treating the audience to their vicious debut in its entirety, screamer and burrito fiend Joe Quimby screeches rabid and wide-eyed in the centre of the maelstrom, flailing, sweaty boys (and a few girls) bouncing off the walls around him, as they batter through twenty minutes of finger-stripping technical assault and battery. Who knows the carnage they’d cause if the set was any longer?
Barbarians, that’s who. With the assistance of a shopping trolley, a metal bucket, a gas canister, a rusted oil drum and The Cosmic Dead’s James T McKay, they shortly set about doing as much damage as humanly possible. Within five minutes, McKay has handed the mike off to an audience member and is barging into the crowd while the oil drum is bent out of shape due to a vicious attack with a hammer and a saw as the band produce waves of power-noise and general madness.
By the end of the performance, the floor is a mass of metal, glass and bodies; outside the venue is no better. One attendee has fallen asleep in a chair, Joe Quimby is deflecting kicks from his bandmates and Barbarians’ bucket is being tossed across the car park. It’s been one hell of a night, but still – be thankful it wasn’t your house.