Rock Ness 2008 @ Dores, 7-8 Jun

SATURDAY

“You stand more chance of seeing Nessie in the zoo than you do a decent band at Rock Ness 2008.”

That was the warning angled our way by one unimpressed observer as details of this year's event made their way online. On paper, Rock Ness certainly wasn't loaded with the quality you'd expect from one of Scotland's premier music festivals – particularly when you take Daft Punk out of the equation. The Skinny does like a challenge though, and stubbornness prevailed. A quick jaunt to ASDA to load up on the Factor 50 later, we were pelting it up the A9 with those foreboding words ringing in our ears. Spirits were high: surely we'd see at least one 'decent band'? And anyway, a childhood defined by unfiltered exposure to the fabled cartoon world of the 1980s had us brimming with confidence. Surely everyone knows you'll never find a Nessie in the zoo?

The road to Dores, whilst undoubtedly one of the more picturesque in the land, is pretty fucking long. After numerous navigational and administrative issues then, imagine our delight in being greeted by the folksy chimes of Edinburgh's finest wafting from the Go North tent, through the sizzling Highlands air. Broken Records have had a busy year and as the festival season commences, it's unlikely to offer any sort of let up. Their debut single If The News Makes You Sad, Don’t Watch It sounds resplendent in the glorious sunshine and offers a welcoming, if slightly misleading introduction to the weekend. One band in and the prophecy is dismissed as poppycock.

Aesthetically, you’re unlikely to come across a better setting for a festival than Clune Farm. As we make our way down to the main stage, cast to a backdrop of Loch Ness, the view is breathtaking, although few revellers seem to take any notice: the party has spilled over from Friday and perhaps coupled with the effects of a day in the baking sun, there’s a trail of sunburnt merrymakers scattered on the hill.

To be fair, they probably picked a decent time for a kip. Flinging a glut of testosterone in the face of every man, woman and child in the Highlands are Havana outfit the Cuban Brothers. What is billed as a high octane mix of soul and funk ends up looking a little out of place in a prime slot on a festival main stage. Call me old fashioned, but four guys and a load of scantily clad ‘comedy’ break dancing should be kept to a tent. In an even bigger tent. With no door.

Unfortunately our escape route, Digitalism in the Clash Tent is in jeopardy. Having disappointed Scottish fans earlier this year by cancelling their shows in Edinburgh and Glasgow, the wiliest of the gathering have taken measures to avoid being doubly disappointed, meaning our chances of catching them at Rock Ness are scuppered too: the tent is heaving. A quick glance at the schedule tells us we’re just in time to see The Twang. And naturally, there is plenty of room at the inn.

The Brummie exponents of Lad Rock burst on to the stage with the same sort of confused enthusiasm that surely possessed the many thousands that parted with their hard earned for cash on their behalf last year. Crowd pleasing hit Either Way aside, it’s difficult to discern any real point for The Twang. They go for Mike Skinner, they fall short. They go for Madchester, they fall short. And despite their effort to gloss over the inescapable tonight with on-stage zeal and fervour, their lack of quality is painfully obvious.

As the evening nip becomes airborne and the sun starts its descent, a trip to Belgian electro rockers Soulwax seems about timely. The Ghent quartet are immaculately turned out in white suits, perhaps to mark their return to the tent they helped to curate and that now bears their name. Throwing in tantalising cuts of site heroes Daft Punk amongst their barnstorming mix of man and machine goes someway to endearing them to the Dores faithful and at a festival that prides itself on its fusion of dance and indie music, surely there’s no more fitting guest than Soulwax?

Rumours of The Housemartins making a comeback on the main stage to close proceedings on Saturday night are proven to false: it’s just the bassist. Fatboy Slim rounds things up with a two hour, classic heavy set that helps allay the chill whilst injecting a sweeping second wind into the 35,000 that have plonked themselves on the hill. He’s made his name for crossover smashes and peppers his set with a selection drawn from the likes of The Chemical Brothers, House of Pain and of course, a choice few of his own. It’s an unsurprisingly crowd pleasing set and occasionally falls on the wrong side of cheese (his now notorious dropping of The Automatic’s Monster gets a repeat), but it all seems fine given the context. An indifferent day, polished off in considerable style.

SUNDAY

“I have had the best night of my life… ever!”

Perhaps a slightly over the top analysis of what went before, but a surprisingly unprompted proclamation from one unreserved reveller. Just how much of it was down to the entertainment provided is unclear, but as Sunday dawns, it’s apparent the energy levels have been sapped and a crippling enthusiasm deficiency is setting in. Contrary to BBC weather reports, the sun is shining again and scorched and the (now clearly pointless) attempts to thwart it enter round two: break out the Ambre Solaire. Whoever said it was grim up north?

Having been disappointed by a host of established acts yesterday, it’s perhaps sensible to explore the grass roots at the festival. The Go North Xposure Stage may look like a beer tent from the outside, but closer inspection finds it occupied by Jim Gellatly, his XFM posse and a whole host of young Scottish bands. When a quick glance over to the main stage isn’t quick enough to avoid the abhorrent Jyrojets, Go North might be just the tonic for this lazy Sunday morning.

Dundonians Page 6 provide a well aimed kick up the arse for anyone needing it. Their energetic stage presence may be difficult to transfer to record, but witnessed first hand, it’s charismatic, even with a fuzzy head. Their fusion of Chili’s-esque funk rock with the odd riff Tom Morello would be proud of suggest Page 6 should be worth keeping an eye on (they're due to make an appearance at Connect this year too), but the real draw is the sight of the frontman po-going around the stage completely unreserved and unfazed: a truly irreverent wake up call.

They’re followed onstage by Dotjr, a Glasgow based band that flirt with country, pop and – er - Daft Punk before settling somewhere not too far from the middle of the road. The lead singer’s vocals are strong and, his blinding shock of white hair aside, the most impressive element of their set, which boasts a surprisingly successful acoustic take on the French house merchants’ Digital Love. It’s inoffensive and not completely bereft of charm, but Dotjr lack the cutting edge and allure of what went before and struggle to hold our attention long enough to make their mark indelible.

With the temperature rising abnormally high, the ordinarily mandatory festival activity of the common scribe - The Dander - all of a sudden seems like awfully hard work. But if the cold beer and shady leas by the Go North stage offer us a valid enough half excuse to stay put, then the other half is provided by The Draymin, who prove to be the biggest draw to the stage thus far. Recently spotted supporting the over-hyped Parka in Glasgow, the Fifers have been hotly tipped themselves of late. Fortunately, this hype seems to have been founded on much more solid ground. Opening with a rhythmic number that's reflective of Math Rock phenoms Foals, their sound settles into a more retro-baggy-bluesy combo, meaning the comparison doesn't really fit the larger picture of a set that's as consistent as it is enjoyable.

The Draymin soon trade places with Be A Familiar, a not so tight but bigger by half Glaswegian septet. They take their lead from Toronto label Arts & Crafts – home of the current collectives of choice Stars and Broken Social Scene. The touches of brass and cello are a fine idea, but unfortunately most of the innovation is lost due to poor sound quality. By challenging the standard indie boy stronghold on much of Scotland's new music these days, Be A Familiar deserve kudos, but they may find themselves more at home in a cosier venue.

Having thoroughly enjoyed their debut LP Little Death earlier this year, Pete and the Pirates promised to be one of the stand-out acts of the weekend. Our position in the comfort zone duly challenged, The Skinny starts out towards the main stage in a journey that is almost in vain. A muck up in scheduling meant they'd taken the stage half an hour earlier than billed. Disappointment is slightly allayed as we catch album highlight Mr Understanding but we can't help feel a little bit cheated. After all, we did skip  a DJ set by the mighty Pendulum (!) to see the ludicrously dressed indie-poppers.

Remixers extraordinaire Simian Mobile Disco made quite a dent in last year's dance scene. Not content with putting their own spin on everyone from Bjork to Muse and The Rapture to CSS, their Attack Delay Sustain Release LP bothered manys an end of year Top Ten list and firmly implanted them in the consciousness of the indie and dance scenes alike. Their set today at Dores is spellbinding. The duo may not be much to look at, but as they chase each other round their centre-stage centrepiece, there's not an eye in the tent not transfixed. The set is dominated by extended plays of album tracks Hustler and It's The Beat, with a superb light show thrown in to boot and they leave the stage to rapturous applause; one of the highlights of the weekend.

By the time we emerge from the tent and nourish ourselves at the highly nutritious chilli stand, the sun has subsided. Yesterday's sunburn has been replaced by a new, more vicious strand and the choice of acts on show has reached it's nadir. A time killing stroll confirms a couple of sneaky suspicions we'd been harbouring for a while:

1. The Dykeenies really are pish

2. Simian Mobile Disco really aren't much to look at, having encountered the Dom Joly-esque afro donning James Ford enjoying a cold one on the hill

Our troubled minds once more at rest, we return to the Go North Xposure stage to catch the tail end of Twin Atlantic's set. Theirs is an FM friendly brand of alt-rock that seems content to follow in the footsteps of Biffy Clyro. Tuneful (borderline Emo) enough to bother the charts but rawk enough to trouble Kerrang, they may be on the path to do just that. But they just ain't this hack's cup of tea.

The Cribs have made a name for themselves as one of the most connected young bands in the UK, having collaborated with everyone from Alex Kapronas and Johnny Marr, to Lee Ranaldo (Sonic Youth) and Bernard Butler. Their visceral live shows, however, have also been making waves. Disappointingly, then, their set on the main stage is doesn't draw the droves we expect. The West Yorkshire indie-rockers please the modest gathering with a selection of tracks from each of their three albums and finish in a flurry of feedback as Gary Jarman grates his guitar off the amp. Shamefully though, such old school rock n roll seems sadly out of place at Rock Ness.

As the weekend draws to a close, there is only one sensible (second) last destination. CSS seem intent on gaining dual nationality, such is their ubiquity in Scotland, but having missed each of their previous shows and considering how they would eventually make way for Underworld, we thought it was about time we caught up. “This is the last night of our tour,” the reputably effervescent Lovefoxxx informs us. Well perhaps that explains why their set seems so flat tonight...or maybe we're just tired. Despite her best efforts to breathe some life into proceedings, the band seem content with a workmanlike performance which betrays Lovefoxxx's vitality. Things pick up as they drop the wonderful Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above as the last song of the night, complete with confetti canons - but it's too late. CSS are one of the anti-climaxes of the weekend.

A quick look over our shoulders reveal the crowd outside of the tent almost mirrors the size of the one inside. Underworld have been doing this for over 20 years, yet their appeal shows no sign of subsiding and it's arguably thanks to one film and one tune. Their live show, however, has been honed over the years having dealt with the departure of Darren Emerson and various problems with personal addictions and they know just how to close a festival. Karl Hyde's undying enthusiasm is lapped up by the crowd as he takes to the stage in possibly the most garish item of clothing The Skinny has seen this weekend (a silver, sparkly blazer), and that's saying something. Starting out with Push Upstairs and moving through two decades of familiar big beat, they instigate near riotous reaction outside the tent. No-one will have been more gratified than Underworld to have seen people hurdling – then crashing through – barriers to get closer to the band. It's a classy performance to close a weekend full of sonic ups and downs. But sunburn aside, it's all just about worth it.

To see more pics of Rockness 2008 go to the Galleries page