The Metal Section - June, 2009
As seasons go, summer really isn't the most conducive to sullen misery and angry, clenched-fist misanthropy. It must be hard to stay mad at one's parents while the majority of the population slip into cricket whites and unfurl chequered picnic blankets onto the ground in hazy public parks, rich with the laughter of children and the slurping of ice cream. Equally, clinging to the those feelings of high school alienation must be no small feat when confronted with long, sunny days of park football, jumpers for goalposts and shirtless pubescent boys colliding in a sweaty frenzy of goalmouth enthusiasm.
Ahem.
Thank the Dark Lord, then, that there are numerous fine purveyors of thrashing, head-swirling, black-clad, antisocial rock action heading this way in the otherwise family-orientated month of June.
In an unlikely international blend, Scots-Hungarian thrash monsters Black Sister set off around the countryside, spreading their palm-muted guitar-muck with unholy relish. Their first port of call is The Captain's Rest in Glasgow (2 Jun). Pay particular attention to genius, tongue-in-cheek track-titles like With Our Bare Asses To Hell. That is if they are indeed discernible. Can't quite figure out who started that thrash tradition of announcing songs in the throaty growl akin to a dinosaur burping.
But a few days later, Amok and Kritikill Mass have a right old bloody shout at the 13th Note (5 Jun). No offence intended, but the latter's assertion that there are “no poster boys for metal here” does sound like a euphemism for “sorry, we're a gang of munters”. But then again, aren't most of the great metal bands?
The Note also plays host to Kilmarnock's Ocean Fracture (7 Jun) and their melodic, doomy thunder but, in a truly unfortunate conflict of schedules, they will find themselves competing with the practically untouchable Mastodon at the ABC that same night (7 Jun). Going for the same crowd in the same city on the same evening as those guys is sort of like trying to pull in the same bar as Zac Efron, George Clooney and Steve Buscemi (you know you would, ladies). We wish them luck.
For those of us still mourning the decline of the industrial scene and all the post-apocalyptic fashion possibilities it promised, 90s favourites Prong can be found at the Cathouse (11 Jun). It's a safe bet they still play Controller.
Likewise, if you persist in pairing leopard-print tights with leather jackets, you can relive those Misfit fixations when thoroughly reliable Glaswegian promoters Wreckin' Pit bring the American goth-punk of Blitzkid to the 13th Note (12 Jun).
Metal supergroup Down make a rare appearance at Glasgow's QMU (12 Jun) allowing the faithful to catch up on the musings of Phil Anselmo. Fortunately, the band are really pretty good so there's every chance it might be entirely possible to overlook his presence altogether.
In a month of slim pickings (or at least poorly publicised pickings), Aberdeen sees All Forgotten and Mind Set A Threat rip it up at Cafe Drummond's (18 Jun).
Back in Glasgow, Irvine-based post-metallic skull-crushers What The Blood Revealed do a little pro-tinnitus reach-out work at the prolific 13th Note with the mighty Gothenburg Address, Tempercalm and The Colin Hunter Band in tow (24 Jun).
Edinburgh finally gets its collective shit together, in fact overcompensating with two consecutive metal festivals: firstly, Metalhead Weekend at the Ark (27 Jun), featuring Dunfermline's Aggressus amongst others. This is eagerly followed by the GBH Thrash festival at the GRV (28 Jun) which sports and international cast including Denmark's Lipid, Ireland's Visceral Attack, Pitiful Reign from Hull, River Freshney from sunny Grimsby, Lifeless from Middlesbrough and native outfits Circle of Tyrants and Necropolis. A filling meal indeed.
Fortunately that gives you a couple of days to get your denims nicely ironed, just in time for AC/DC dressing like school children and gay bartenders at Hampden Park (30 Jun) and rocking your muthafuckin' socks off. See you down the front.