The Metal Column – December 2010
It's December. The nights have not so much been drawing in as they have been choking us of all life, the weather's miserable and worse yet – it's nearly fucking Christmas! Still, those of you finding it hard to bite the bullet of festive joy and goodwill, have no fear, as there are just about enough opportunities left this year for you to vent your frustrations and better yet, batter somebody in an acceptable forum. 'Tis the season.
Edinburgh's 'Blastonbury' extreme metal all-dayer is a perfect example. Taking place at Bannerman's on the 5th, it features some of the finest purveyors of brutality and filth from across the UK and the Netherlands, sporting such brilliantly disgusting monikers as Prostitute Disfigurement, Cancerous Womb, Cerebral Bore, and rather hilariously, Joe Pesci. An excuse to headbang till you pass out, if ever there was one.
The 13th Note delivers an opening pair of shows to satisfy all lovers of confusing and eccentric noise, with Super Adventure Club and Paws lined up for 2 Dec and a spectacularly packed-out bill of inventive, searing punk rock featuring Action Beat, Mr Peppermint, Ultimate Thrush, Stomachs and Divorce is ready and waiting to give you a hernia the following night.
With the best part of a week to recover from that, we're spoilt for choice on 8 Dec. Do you: watch hardcore heroes Hatebreed stomp the shit out of the Garage or pogo like an idiot in the company of crusty punks Subhumans, Gin Goblins and Oi Polloi (Ivory Blacks)? We’ll probably be down the road, picking our jaws up off the floor at the resurrection of Godspeed You! Black Emperor (Barrowlands), if we can find a bloody ticket.
Elsewhere, that two-headed devil from the north Bronto Skylift take to the treacherous winter roads as part of a Scottish tour to pummel us all with their killer new single Gameboy – starting at Madhatters, Inverness (9 Dec) and ending at Dundee Doghouse on the 17 Dec, taking in everywhere from Aviemore to Stornoway in-between.
Back in Glasgow, the trend of the heavyweight package tour continues with 'Metalcore' stalwarts, Bullet For My Valentine, Bring Me The Horizion and Atreyu all set to coax the youngsters in from the cold, (SECC, 9 Nov) whilst Disturbed and Papa Roach ride a wave of nu-metal nostalgia along with Halestorm (also SECC) on 11 Dec.
Virginian miscreants, Municipal Waste set their phasers to THRASH at Ivory Blacks on 15 Dec whilst southern collective Drum Eyes – featuring members of Japanese noise warriors, The Boredoms and gabber/chiptune maestro DJ Scotch Egg – hit The Captains Rest with Ultimate Thrush that same night (and Sneaky Pete's, Edinburgh on 14 Dec).
Surely a no-brainer – godfather of bludgeoning riffs, Page Hamilton, takes to the Cathouse (17 Dec) under the legendary Helmet banner with Fighting With Wire and Desalvo as ample support.
On 16 Dec, however, arguably the year's final difficult decision presents itself. Pitting UK doom legends Orange Goblin and their 15th Anniversary Tour (Ivory Blacks) against a reassembled Fear Factory and High On Fire (The Garage) is bad enough, but going up against the portly dark prince that is Meat Loaf (SECC)? Forget it.