The Metal Column – August 2011

In case you’ve been off dwelling with Norwegian cave metaller Mortiis, last month saw the timely demise of News of the World and it’ll be sadly missed – going to that special place in our hearts normally reserved for other great British institutions like imperialism, fox hunting and sending small children down chimneys. Still, at least we have the Almighty Riff to keep our minds away from the sordid exploits of Planet Tabloid, eh?

Stereo open August with a sludgy bang as Carlisle’s Manatees (1 Aug) bring their distorted, bass-heavy blasts to town – a fine jolt to the skull for the ensuing month. Meanwhile, practically bookending our adventures, think of 27 Aug as a chance to relieve any accumulated stress as Brutality Will Prevail bring an evening of breakdowns and beat-downs to the same venue.

Just around the corner, Classic Grand will be providing great value for money (going to a great cause to boot) as an even fiver gets you access to Kill All Celebrities and (at last count) nine others for this year’s Mosh Against Cancer (20 Aug). They’ll also be hosting a triple-whammy of metal and hardcore with The Eyes of a Traitor, This is Colour and Spires (8 Aug) but if you’re washing your Dee Snider circa 1984 crimp that night all three will be hitting up Edinburgh’s Studio 24 on 7 Aug and Dundee’s Dexters on 9 Aug.

It seems it’s time for our second annual visit from those mild-mannered gentlemen in The Dillinger Escape Plan, who’ll be melting faces at the Garage on 5 August. With most in the know viewing last year’s Option Paralysis as the return to form no-one thought they’d ever see from Ben Weinman’s ever-changing personnel, don’t be expecting anything less than mathematical chaos at its finest.

What would we do without the 13th Note, eh? Not only will Glasgow’s favourite grind merchants Co-Exist be doing their level best to have amps certified as WMDs on 21 Aug, but a mere five days later Primordial Undermind, The Cosmic Dead, Thought Forms, Reptilian Bastards and more will bring the Summer Psych/Drone Freakout to life. Like Bruce said, groovy.

This month also sees the return of two undisputed veterans of punk, but not as you might expect. Representing the Dead Kennedys, Jello Biafra & the Guantanamo School of Medicine scuzz up the luxurious confines of Glasgow’s O2 ABC on 9 Aug. In the Black Flag corner, Henry Rollins is turning 50 and he’d like to share some things with us. Not sure what exactly, but you can bet your ass we’ll be at Edinburgh Queen’s Hall on Aug 18/19 to find out. Despite his perma-furrowed-brow Rollins never fails to charm us with his hilarious, fascinating and illuminating spoken word performances. Choose wisely (in other words, choose both).

If ol’ Henry isn’t enough for dwellers of the windy city, get round to Bannermans on 4 Aug for some primo USBM in the shape of Florida’s Negative Plane. It’s rare that these guys even leave the States and for all their frost-bitten blasts it’ll be the perfect way to cool down from Scotland’s two days of allocated summer sunshine.