Metal Up Your Ass - September, 2008

Thus September arrives. The long, breezy nights of summer pass in to memory and hazy fields of pollen give way to the roasted pastel shades of Autumn. Swept up in the aesthetic, arboreal fireworks and long sunsets of this glorious season, it's easy to yearn for the soothing strum of an acoustic guitar and the husky drawl of some southern fellow relating bittersweet tales of love and loss. On the other hand, residents of Scotland subjected to this year's unrelenting deluge probably don't feel quite so benevolent. Weeks of heavy jackets, cancelled sporting events and squeaky windscreen wipers might just have dented enthusiasm in the folk scene.

Thank goodness then for Meshuggah. Five Swedish men with heads like calculators and fists of hardened steel pummelling their way through musical conventions, like 4/4 timing, at Glasgow Garage (8 Sep).

The misanthropy continues in Edinburgh as the Cold Dead Hands collective celebrates five years of itself. A bill of angry metal and skewed hardcore, including Tombs (USA), Planks (Germany), Flatlands (Sheffield) and Glasgow's hotly tipped Citizens, seems intent on exorcising some demons right in to your face. Its a 3pm early start at Henry's Cellar Bar (13 Sep).

Glasgow drone fans might have a bit of a dilemma when Hydra Head Records' Torche and Pelican attempt to shake Oran Mor to the ground with drop-tuned thunder, whilst the 13th Note grinds itself further underground with the rock-hard musings of Stand Up Guy, The Final Sigh and the infamous Black Sun (14 Sep). Either way, hearing damage is likely. The same is true of Take A Worm For A Walk Week's launch for their second LP The Monroe Transfer (see the review this issue) at Captain's Rest (17 Sep).

After weeks of pretentious street-theatre, Edinburgh gets its come-uppance and Cabaret Voltaire can expect a thorough kicking from Rock Action face-abusers DeSalvo (25 Sep) as the Glaswegian four-piece pay another belligerent visit to our nation's capital. Only 24 hours later and Glasgow's Barfly can likewise look forward to having its eyes scratched out by the insane casio-grindcore of Rolo Tomassi (26 Sep).

Lastly, ending as we began, Sweden will growl us toward October. The bright and sleepless Scandinavian nights seem to be manifesting themselves in the form of some distinctly unhappy axe-work. We see two different sides of the Krona as mega-stars In Flames bring their suspiciously tight sound to Barrowlands (27 Sep) (a tenner to anyone who can prove the amps are actually switched on). That same night, Henry's is again subjected to the brilliant misery of Afgrund. Fellow countrymen of both Meshuggah and In Flames, let's just say these fellas don't have fleets of tour-buses and roadies. Expect gritted teeth and any blood spilled is most probably real.