Metal Up Your Ass - July, 2009
There are questions that keep me up at night. You're reading this so I'll assume we share some interests and therefore maybe these questions bother you too. For example, why aren't Glasgow's streets littered with the corpses of pigeons that died of old age or heart disease (thanks largely to a diet of dropped kebabs)? Why are they always smashed to bloody mush by taxis? Do they commit automotive suicide when they feel the reaper looming? Surely the lack of natural predators and an obvious funeral/morgue infrastructure would mean... anyway, I digress...
Another question that rattles around like the last biscuit in the tin concerns the waning fortunes of our independent venues and DIY promoters and bands. In a country of over 5 million people, with so many excellent gigs going on outwith the SECC and Corn Exchange, why are so many promoters' backs against the wall? Recession? Apathy?
There are few excuses this month, especially given that most of the gigs mentioned here amount to less than the cost of two pints of standard-rate beer. Man up, Scotland, lest you lose the plurality and diversity of your underground scene forever.
The first instalment of metallic fortitude is served up by Stereo (4 Jul) when they host Glasgow Metal Night II, featuring Diamanthian from Liverpool and the highly regarded Valpurga from Sardinia, as well as some promising domestic talent.
Dundonians take note, Luchagors visit Dexter's (7 Jul) featuring Racci Shay formerly of Wednesday 13. Okay that may raise a couple of eyebrows and little else, until you learn that the band also features Amy Dumas – aka Lita of WWE fame. Maybe if things get unruly she handles her own security. Perhaps a few well placed Scottish expletives and an airborne pint will find a rowdy punter in a suplex or, even better, a piledriver. Now there's an incentive.
The inspired and inspiring Citizens continue to take part in some of Glasgow's most edgy post-punk shows, appearing with Logic Problem (8 Jul) then the Rapeman-esque Scul Hazzards (17 Jul) both at the 13th Note.
Another busy pair of Glaswegian exports, Hey Vampires! and Arca Felix, bring their accomplished post-hardcore to Glasgow's Bar Bloc and Captain's Rest (9 & 18 Jul) and Perth's Mucky Mulligans (17 Jul).
Potentially the highlight of July, US maniacs An Albatross unleash their frantic, thrilling racket within the gloriously cramped confines of the Captain's Rest in Glasgow (15 Jul). Likened to a more rock and roll version of The Locust, their last trip here saw them blow the roof off Nice 'n' Sleazys. Support this time comes from natives Titus Gein, whose brilliant electro-prog-metal racket continues to go from strength to strength and big moves beckon for the band later this year. Hotly anticipated new boys Hyper Magic Mega Fighting Robots! also lend four hands in what should prove a riotous evening.
Take A Worm For A Walk Week, Divorce and the ear-poppingly loud Holy Mountain attempt to crack the ruddy pavement of Sauchiehall Street (18 Jul) when they cross axes at Nice 'n' Sleazy's. Capacity crowd assured. Meanwhile, Glasgow's hard-gigging Flood Of Red pay a melodic but voluminous visit to Aberdeen's SNAFU, King Tuts then the GRV (18, 19, 20 Jul) as they launch new single A Place Before The End.
In more conventional territory, Oakland thrash godfathers Testament can be caught at Glasgow's Garage (21 Jul).
The final auditory kicking of the month comes from Kong - beware, it normally takes a week or so to regain one's hearing after these guys get started. They will be dominating both the Tunnels in Aberdeen (25 Jul) and Sleazy's (26 Jul) this month. At the latter event, Biffy autograph hunters should also be on the lookout for certain Kilmarnock-born band members strutting around the venue: their affinity for Kong is well documented.