Metal Up Your Ass - January, 2009

New Year's resolution to self: move to a country where some decent bands tour in January. What the hell is the problem with Scotland? Is it the weather? Surely the Scandinavians in particular can't fall back on that as an excuse. Thus, it transpires that we find ourselves in the sorry state of affairs where the Kerrang Tour qualifies as one of the month's metal highlights. So to hell with the metal, let’s widen the net a bit. Thankfully Glasgow's This Is Our Battlefield collective are still putting in a shift and bring English punk/hardcore quartet The Steal to the 13th Note (5 Jan). Appearances across the UK as well as on Radio One's Lock-Up show have garnered considerable buzz for these guys. Support comes from local Amphetamine Reptile-obsessed noise trio Hyena, whose live show has been pretty special in recent times.

Five days later, The Captain's Rest plays host to newly formed Dundee supergroup Thews, featuring members of Laeto, Avast and Alamos (10 Jan). Also playing are Glaswegian post-punk beasts United Fruit whose reputation is increasingly preceding them. What January really didn't need is an overlap, but sadly The Haunted appear at Glasgow Garage the same night as Architects set about The Cathouse (20 Jan). Fortunately, in a rare glimpse of raucous exuberance, Edinburgh entertains Architects the following evening at Studio 24 (21 Jan) so the obsessive can make it to both. Certainly The Haunted make the icy trek from Sweden to these shores having destroyed a number of Glasgow venues in the past and chances are they've only gotten better. Theirs is a real ale mind. None of your watered-down shandy. So be prepared for some brutality.

Which brings us to a belated Christmas turkey in the form of The Kerrang Tour (27 Jan) as some of modern music's most elaborate haircuts hit the Barrowlands. About as cutting edge as a denim waistcoat, one can expect an evening of loud contemporary noises in a room full of people that make you feel so very, very old. New York industrial combo Mindless Self Indulgence head the bill, flanked by vitriolic Floridian teens Black Tide and mullet revivalists Bring Me The Horizon. Enjoy. Thankfully, The Captain's Rest once again rescues Glasgow's flagging heavy rock fortunes with The Sontaran Experiment and Black Sun (29 Jan). The former – named after a none less superb episode of Doctor Who – peddle distinctly misanthropic sludge, interspersed with bursts of frenzied blast beat. Black Sun head straight for the doom jugular... very very slowly. Chances are your bowels might well loosen before the night is done.