The Proposition: Bono is a Chump, But He's Better Than You

Bono really is an irritating little creep isn't he? That's the general consensus right? This is the guy who campaigns for, amongst other things, a higher political profile for the environmental agenda, then gets a hat flown from England to Italy because he forgot it. That kind of hypocrisy takes real application. Yes Bono is an unequivocally infuriating git for sure.

But he's better than you.

Everybody loves a sound-bite and they don't come much more mundane or uninspired than "I hate Bono". Certainly, he may well have jettisoned the perfectly workable name "Paul David Hewson" in favour of a name more easily attributed to a feisty wee terrier that gets itself into hilarious predicaments. He may also have claimed The Edge was the greatest guitarist since Hendrix. In fact, he very probably wanders each morning through his lavish palace of mirrors in an open-fronted, silk bathrobe documenting his own everyday actions in the third person whilst The Joshua Tree is piped into every room.

Despite all that you still make him look like a champion.

You see, the thing is, he's pretty much earned the right to be intolerable. The guy has saved lives. Amidst all the posturing, pontificating and smugness he's actually helped people that really bloody need it and he wasn't under any obligation to do so. Instead he chose to try intervening in some pretty unpleasant situations. Sure he just loves to remind you just what a paragon of virtue he is but, as much as we may be loath to admit it, he gets things done.

On the other hand your numerous cynical observations still left much of Malawi feeling rather undernourished. Your impressive collection of half-read alternative literature has yet to really impact upon human trafficking in the Third World. The disapproving "tuts" you give whenever David Cameron crosses a road on camera have not yet helped eradicate child labour and your controversial tattoo has barely occurred to Somalia's warlords.

Sure, he might be a proper tool but at least Bono makes some kind of difference. At least he and his bland of brothers, most notably Geldof, have made something of a dent – miniscule or otherwise – in the bigger problems of our time. What in the hell did you achieve between your sushi lunch and dozing off during a rerun of Black Books? You probably didn't meet the Pope. Or George Bush. Or indeed any of the many famous political figures of our time to whom you so desperately wish you could pose some challenging questions.

Quite how and why Bono got to his position of influence is open to debate but these things usually boil down to money: whether it’s the power to sell albums or newspapers, money has the final say. And therein lies the rub. It’s not that you're any more of a jerk than Bono, it's just he's richer and thus he matters more than you do. People listen when he speaks, even if it’s mostly just to his jingling pockets. Eventually something he says will get through, and that's a lot more than can be said for your last demo tape, your witty t-shirt or, for that matter, your last whining, obnoxious editorial.

So Bono is a tube. Change the record. Pick your battles. Your righteous indignation could surely be more constructively targeted at, say, rude taxi drivers, lairy doormen, telephone marketers, or Sting.