Glasgow Mega Student Burrito
Having firmly established himself as a player on the burrito scene with his blog, Take A Worm For a Walk Week frontman <b>Joe Quimby</b> offers a word of nutritional advice to Glasgow's incoming Fresher population
Since I know most of you will be left to your own devices for the first time, you will be eating a lot of generally bad grub. Don't fret because The Burrito Overlord is here to show the way to save your pennies, and the embarrassment of getting caught raiding the bins of Waitrose.
Knowing that, again, most of you can barely cook a pot noodle you will be a frequent face at most of the various brown water inducing takeaways. I'm here to point you to the right place to go. This is my guide to Scotland's Burrito Blay Jaybe Heaven
Most people's first introduction to takeaway Mexican food is TACO MAZAMA.
Having only opened last year it already has a second location on Byres Road. Great for all you mad besturts that think stonewash denims and glasses with no lenses are amazing. Once you have tasted the slow-roasted BBQ Pork you'll hit a stauner so massive you will be too faint to backcomb your wee floppy quiff. Order the extra hot salsa for a guaranteed happy ending.
The first shop is located near Central Station and Stereo Cafe Bar. It's open til 3am at the weekend so once you've gummed off that guy in that band you like I can't think of a more delicious way to get rid of the taste than by smashing another big fat meat log into your gub.
Newly opened on Queen Street is PINTO.
Their new shop has a massive interior, big enough to swing a Fraggle by the cock, or if you've done too many eccies there's plenty of room to lie doon and chew yr face off.
Weirdly, looking like a fast-food chain (while independent) they offer quick, super fresh burritos. Like Taco Mazama, they offer the standard fillings of chargrilled steak or chicken, BBQ pork and the standard veggie option for all you Smiths fans. On top of that, you can choose between black or pinto beans.
So far I've smashed a steak and a chicken burrito and have to say I love it. What's cool about Pinto is that you can see the chefs in the back playing with their meat, so you know that shit’s fresh. Portions are a bit light, so don't go thinking you’re gonna need a nap afterwards. Good hot sauce selection, and from what I've heard they have just made their extra hot salsa even hotter.
You will no doubt head out and get steamin' and eventually end up at the legendary NICE N SLEAZY.
After guzzling down White Russians, you’re gonna have to hit them up for a burrito. They have been serving up burritos for well over 10 years. On a recent trip, I noticed some interesting filling choices, like tuna.
The Sleazy burritos are a great classic – served with melted cheese on top, salad, sour cream/salsa on side as well as jalapeños. That might work out for you limp-wristers that think the hottest thing you've ever eaten was a Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle. Get them dealt wi!
Last on my Glasgow list is THE CAPTAIN’S REST, where funnily enough I currently get paid to prepare burritos!
Once you’re ready to take on the challenge from the almighty overlord, expect to find my signature GLASGOW MEGA BURRITO.
With your filling of choice beef chilli/chicken or veg chilli (and heat level), I've been putting a Scottish twist to the mighty burrito by putting Spicy Chips inside. Also, depending on whether I think you’re cool enough, three different cheeses. The other chefs and I are lucky enough that LUPE PINTOS is near, so we can get some awesome chipotle peppers and hot sauces that give your mouth a pinger – there’s nothing else like it.