Pink Eyes: "I Made the D-List!"

This is the summer that I will forever remember as the time that I went from an F-list celebrity to a D-list celebrity. Now I know what you must be thinking: "What is a D-list celebrity and what differentiates it from the lesser F-list?" Well fine readers, allow me to explain.

At the top you have the A-list. This is a place reserved for your real deal superstars: Jay-Z, Noel Gallagher, Posh Spice and apparently in this part of the world some woman named Jordan. This group of privileged people have the world at their fingertips. They are exceedingly wealthy and yet you will find that they are rarely expected to pay for anything.

Following right behind this would be the B-list. On the B-list you find people that are still very famous but not so much that you are allowed to be shocked if, say, your grandmother has not heard of them. They are guest-listed in all the right clubs and enjoy all the perks of the fabulous lifestyle that rock stars expect.

Then comes that C-list. The stars that make up this list normally believe they are much more famous than they really are. It is the wallowing ground of ex-Big Brother contestants and indie rock stars. The realm of the quasi-famous, if you will. They can look forward to the odd drink getting bought for them or the odd heckle being shouted at them by a passing motorist. And after these folks, dear reader, you will find me.

I have now, through sheer tenacity and good looks, found myself on the D-list. And what does this mean? Well, to start off, it means that when you find yourself in line behind Dizzee Rascal at a festival catering tent and he accidentally makes eye contact and feels obliged to talk to you, he will ask you if you have played yet. In no way can you presume that he knows who you are, but he does seem to recognise you from somewhere. It also means that when you get to a show you can rely on having to sign at least one shirt and posing for a photo or two with a fan who may or may not have heard you before. This is opposed to the F-list where only your parents think you are anything special. It truly is a charmed life.