Student Life: The Twilight Sad's 5 Point Plan

So I've noticed recently that being in a band is a bit like being a student. You drink a lot, you’re always fuckin’ skint and you spend most of your time watching films and shitty Australian soap operas when you should really be doing something more productive.

I was a student for a year and a half at Stow College and 2 years before that, when I had a real job, they sent me to Falkirk college on day release. I won’t talk about my time at Falkirk College as it is hell on earth. When at Stow I spent most of the time in Cineworld at 11am taking advantage of the early bird prices (I think it’s a pound cheaper if you turn up before 12) after attending my first lecture (which I was asleep for, due to it being about learning how to use the internet - useless).

I don’t recommend the eating facilities at Stow as they are shite. So if you’re looking to have some lunch in Glasgow and you’re a student, I recommend Mono, Stereo or the 13th Note, they are all vegetarian and reasonably priced. If you can’t be arsed with your lectures in the morning and you want to go for a drink, don’t go to Wetherspoons! I know that they are open at 11am and they sell drink earlier than anyone else but hold off, because you will end up in there all day and it’s nearly as bad as a day at Falkirk College.

Now, if you stay outside the city, I would recommend taking the piss with your travel expenses; say you have to get three buses and a train because you will get more spondoolies for your stupid skinny jeans, new rave jacket and shite haircut. If you drive to college, don’t get involved with guys who sit in their done-up Corsa or Fiesta outside the front doors of the campus all day with the windows down and the tunes all the way up.

So, basically:

1) Study hard.
2) Avoid Falkirk College.
3) Keep away from all Wetherspoons establishments.
4) Stay away from dickheads.
5) Try not to look like a complete fanny