Phagomania: Bizarre Food Festivals
For those east-siders, welcome to Edinburgh in August. It is 'THE' festival. That's what we call it, because see all those other festivals you've been to, they mean nothing now you are in the midst of THE festival. There's plenty of fine food to sample, but this month we take the festival vibe and look at some pretty crazy stuff that is not happening in Edinburgh.
The Waikiki Spam Jam (April, Honolulu, Hawaii)
So hands up who knew that Spam's biggest market is in Hawaii? Ah, those who know their history on the WWII meat supply issues. They frickin' love Spam. So much so that they present us with this challenge: 'Are you a SPAM®-jammer? Do you like SPAM® so much you’d consider trying it in just about any form? If so, the Annual Waikiki SPAM JAM® Festival is for you!'
Yuma Lettuce Days (March, Yuma, Arizona)
Coming at ya from The Winter Lettuce Capital of the World, it's those crazy Yanks again, honouring the humble lettuce. I mean, lettuce is pretty good in my book – it's in burgers – but a whole festival? Well... expect lettuce sculptures, celebrity chef challenges, cabbage bowling, microbrews (lettuce not mentioned), Jazz of Yuma, 'Drinks With A Twist' (could it be lettuce?) and 'Toss It Up' Interactive Salad Bar. Despite research, imagination can only fill in the gaps until we all flood to Yuma next year. Stop off in state to visit Tool singer Maynard James Keenan's vineyard, Caduceus Cellars.
Battle of the Oranges, (February, Ivrea, Italy)
La Tomatina (August, Bunol, Spain)
Ah, those fiery Mediterraneans just can't keep it together long enough to enjoy their fruit and veg, can they? They're all kicking off everywhere. The Italians sound like they are having a whale of a time putting on what seem to resemble paint ball shoot outs, including organised combat groups, only with oranges. I don't know what's worse, I'd take a paint ball over an orange hurled by a burley Italian. There's an in-depth role play involved, reenacting and commemorating the liberation of the northern Italian town.
Meanwhile, our Spanish compañeros in the small town of Bunol, near Valencia, triples in population for what they claim is the largest food fight in the world. Take that Italy. It starts when some loco climbs a two-storey greased wooden pole to fetch a ham. Just like Edinburgh's Cowgate on a Saturday night. And then it just gets pure mental. MENTAL. No-one is going to obey the rule of pre-squashing the tomato before flinging it to reduce impact. But orange you glad it was only a tomato?
Roadkill Cook-off (September, Marlinton, West Virginia)
Well, what did you expect? Previous Cook-offs involved bear sausage pizza, sloppy does, squirrel gravy over biscuits, armadillo BBQ, and curry goat. If you are thinking "not too bad, actually" you are not alone. And because we are in hilly billy country, you can enjoy all this and more to a back drop of live Bluegrass music. Just don't confuse your Ma or Pa for your other half.
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Those of you who are regulars of this joint are in for a treat. Remember the Japanese guy who ordered 1050 pieces of bacon on his burger to take advantage of a Burger King offer? Well, he's back, and this time he is cheesed off and tackling the possibly more outrageous 1000 slices of cheese burger. Yep, behold and think of the dreams he must have had:
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