Food News: Fringe Special 2013

Our round-up begins in the great outdoors. After Taste of Edinburgh literally drowned last summer in the rainpocalypse, Foodies Festival is Edinburgh’s one chance to stand in a big park filled with food tents and eye up various exotic jams before deciding not to buy anything. There will be the usual array of demos, stall-holders giving out free samples (one for you, and one for ‘your mate at another stall’ wink-wink), and hayfever-addled members of the food media trying not to sneeze on everyone. 9-11 Aug from 10am, Inverleith Park, £12/10.

But what if you don’t like or trust the outdoors? Well, we have that lovely young man from that Great British Bake Off on the telly for you. The one with the jumpers, he was nice wasn’t he? Yes, Fair Isle-wearing cake enthusiast/medical student James Morton will take an hour out of his evidently packed schedule for some baking and a spot of chat. He will explain “the science, history and magic of baking,” but we’ll be most impressed if he can wear a wool jumper for an hour in a Fringe venue without passing out from heatstroke. 7 Aug, 12.30pm, Assembly Rooms, George St, £10.

It wouldn’t be the Fringe without bizarre and po-faced claims about “exploring the nature of sensory perception” through fairly average auspices. Enter Dinner is Swerved, a dining experience which as far as we can tell involves avant-garde food and some sort of theatre/ comedy element that’s explained entirely through sentence fragments. Basically, it’s a late-night dinner where your meal comes with a side of annoyance. Or humour. It’s hard to tell. Thanks to all the sentence. Fragments. 3-25 Aug, 11.30pm, C Nova, Victoria St, £16.50/£12.50.

Right, that’s enough food to fill the first part of our remit, now to cocktails! This being the Fringe, these aren’t just any old cocktails – they are powered by the dark arts. Yes, you read that correctly, The Dark Arts of the Cocktail is a journey through the folk tales and pagan traditions associated with fruit-based mixed beverages. The event will also teach you some drinks recipes created by noted 19th-century occultist weirdo Aleister Crowley, and all packed into a hilariously inappropriate midday timeslot. Go to the shops, spot of satanic drink-making, pub lunch – that’s your Saturday afternoon sorted. 10 Aug, 12pm, Hendrick's Carnival of Knowledge, Royal Circus, £12.

From cocktails to gin, and a whistle-stop verbal tour through the ins, outs, ups and downs of everyone’s fourth favourite spirit. The Quintessential Anthology of Gin sees Duncan McRae talk us through Hendrick’s Gin, unveiling the secrets of the production process and presumably shedding light on why the stuff goes so well with cucumbers. 11 Aug, 2.30pm, Hendrick's Carnival of Knowledge, Royal Circus, £15.

With rum at the top of The Skinny’s distilled spirit rankings, the national drink sits nicely in second place, and whisky is represented in two ways at this year’s Fringe. The first: a madcap comedy play about a whisky baron on the high seas. Raiders: The Whisky Trader tells the story of Charlie Hepburn, a whisky man who stows away on a boat from Scotland to Africa, where comedy, love and copious drinking ensue. 1-20 Aug, 5.25pm, Spotlites @ Merchant’s Hall, Hanover St, £8/6.

The second: a whisky tasting invoking the magical days of prohibition. Moonshine, Medicine and The Mob will take you back to the carefree days of yore, when a dram would be served from under a false counter in a ‘greengrocer’ and the evening’s entertainment consisted of police armed with tommy guns bursting in and calling everyone ‘Mack.’ We may be confusing history with The Simpsons here, but the point stands – this will be a fun way to taste whisky, and a chance to try out your best 1930s policeman impression. 5.45pm, 6-10, 13-17, 20-24 Aug, Jenners, Princes St, £15/13.

And finally, our Fringe round-up takes some time to stop and reflect. To think back on the past, and all those who have gone before. People like Hitler, Picasso, and Jesus. The Thinking Drinker's Guide to Alcohol brings together these and many more famous figures to get to the bottom of our relationship with the demon hooch. It also offers attendees six free drinks each, and is therefore our pick of the entire Fringe. Bad luck to everyone else, but we’re pretty sure you'll have another chance to impress next year. 31 Jul-25 Aug, 6.30pm, Assembly Rooms, George St, £10/9.