Cauliflower to Kombucha: Food Trends in 2017

Most people get their predictions in before the year starts, but not us. You see, the whole Christmas and New Year thing means that people are either skint, ‘aff it’ (whatever their chosen ‘it’ is) or just too tired to go Full Food in the first month of the year. No, now seems like as good a time as any to gaze upon the year ahead, and give it a good sniff.

We’ll start with the stuff that looks like it might explode. Fermented food looks set to stay in vogue – who’s going to take away our kimchi and sourdough? No-one, that’s who – but it’ll be joined by a host of terrifying fermented drinks. You may already know kombucha, the fermented tea drink made using bacteria from the jellyfish-like blob of terror known as a scoby; there’s also kefir, made with fermented milk (think thin, sour yoghurt). And then there’s drinking vinegar. Vinegar, that you drink. Pro tip, kids: drinking vinegar won’t make you cool, no matter what they tell you.

From the cupboard to the salad drawer, and to cauliflower. Apparently, cauliflower is leading the charge for 2017, although much of the reasoning behind its ascension seems a bit… odd. ‘It’s a blank canvas,’ they say, with ‘a comforting starchiness.’ That sounds a lot like ‘it tastes of nothing and has the texture of cardboard’ to us, but then we aren’t deep in the pockets of Big Cauli. On a similar tip are Kalettes, the brussel sprout/kale hybrid. That’s right, the dream team together at last, in a format that combines the merits of both in an easy-to-throw package. Also, it’s purple, which is very on-trend this year.

Jackfruit, the enormous tropical fruit, has become a Pinterest sensation thanks to its role as alleged vegan alternative to pulled pork. It may split apart like the real deal when you cook it, but we can say from sweet, floppy experience that jackfruit ain’t no pork. It is not good eating, but it does look nice, and is as such a perfect ‘on-trend’ food.

Finally, a pair of prospective food trends that leave us feeling highly, highly sceptical. The first is the group known as adaptogens, ‘superherbs’ that are apparently able to reduce the symptoms of stress, boost your energy reserves and adapt to what your body needs at the time. Best case scenario is we’ve accidentally discovered the culinary equivalent of stem cells, although it feels more likely that we’ve discovered that herbal tea is due for a sudden and expensive rebrand.

Nutritional Yeast has already had its rebrand, with some corners of the vegan internet insisting on calling it ‘nooch.’ Basically, nooch is pitched as a way to make meat and dairy-free dishes taste of something – the yeast brings out savoury, umami flavours in whatever it's sprinkled on. It is a somewhat dark and utilitarian product that conjures up a slightly terrifying survivalist image, making it the perfect food for 2017.