Ten great break-up movies to get over Brangelina's split

Tough break-ups to watch through splayed fingers

Annie Hall

Alvy Singer (Woody Allen): "A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."

Woody Allen substituted the quick fire gags of his 'early, funny ones' to give us one of the great films about the pain of romantic longing. It follows Diane Keaton's Annie Hall (the original manic pixie dream girl) as she outgrows Allen’s Alvy, her nervy, neurotic, noncommittal boyfriend, just as he starts to realise how much he loves her. 

Blue Valentine

Cindy (Michelle Williams): "I'm so out of love with you. I've got nothing left for you, nothing, nothing. Nothing, there is nothing here for you."

Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling tear up the screen in this bruising portrayal of marital breakdown, which writer-director Derek Cianfrance intercuts with scenes showing the optimism the couple felt when they first started dating. It's as if Cianfrance is saying that, despite how terribly it all ends, those joyous salad days make it all worthwhile. 

The Squid and the Whale

Frank (Owen Kline): "Mom and me versus you and Dad."

Jolie said her breakup from Pitt was for "the good of the family." We hope they do better than Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney's Brooklyn writer couple in this stinging drama from Noah Baumbach about two teenage boys who find themselves as bargaining chips in their parents' divorce. 

Violent break-ups

The War of the Roses

Oliver Rose (Michael Douglas): "And you better get yourself a damn good lawyer!"
Barbara Rose (Kathleen Turner): "Best your money can buy!"

Danny DeVito's ferocious second feature is hilariously unrelenting as a war breaks out between a divorcing couple (Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas) who turn the beautiful possessions they are fighting over into deadly weapons. Fingers crossed Jolie and Pitt's divorce proceedings are more amicable.

Heathers

Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder): "It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer."

A film about slowly discovering that the love of your life is a psychopath. 

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

John Smith (Brad Pitt): We have an unusual problem here, Jane. You obviously want me dead, and I'm less and less concerned for your well-being.

The film where Pitt and Jolie first got together, Doug Liman's messy action-comedy follows a married couple who are both assassins working for rival organisations, and are both tasked with bumping each other off. Not a great film, and not a great omen for the relationship.

For Brad: the John Cusack double-bill

High Fidelity

Rob (John Cusack): "She didn't make me miserable, or anxious, or ill at ease. You know, it sounds boring, but it wasn't. It wasn't spectacular either. It was just good. But really good."

When it comes to break-up movies aimed at both guys and gals, John Cusack has the market covered. This one follows a list-making music junkie as he runs through his top five breakups. 

Say Anything

Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack): "She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

Will Pitt take a leaf out of goofy kickboxer Lloyd Dobler's book and be standing underneath Jolie's window tonight with a boombox over his head playing Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes? We think not.

Break-ups you regret

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

Clementine (Kate Winslet): "This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon."
Joel (Jim Carrey): "I know."
Clementine (KW): "What do we do?"
Joel (JC): "Enjoy it."

This mind-bending drama from Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman about a couple who hire a company to erase all memory of each other is one of the most potent cinematic romances of recent years. Would Pitt and Jolie use the same technology if it were to exist?

The Palm Beach Story

Tom Jeffers (Joel McCrea): "Funny having to sleep with a sitting-room between us."
Gerry Jeffers (Claudette Colbert): "And the doors locked."
Tom Jeffers (Joel McCrea): "You don't have to worry about that."

A simultaneously tender and scalding screwball comedy about a woman who decides the only way she can save her marriage is to divorce her down-on-his-luck husband, marry a wealthy man, and use the second husband's cash to finance her first husband's failed ambitions. We're guessing this isn't the reason for Pitt and Jolie's break-up.