Safe Haven

The arrival of a mysterious blonde in a small seaside town inevitably attracts the interest of the hunky young storekeeper, and it isn't long before he is wooing her with the offer of a shot on his bike. But inevitably the path of true love does not run smoothly, especially when the two lovers are freighted down with soap-y back stories – she is on the run from a dark past, while he is the recently widowed father of two perky children.

Based on a novel from the über-successful romance writer Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven works its way through a series of predictable highs and lows, and some even more predictable dialogue ("The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you," etc.) before the inevitable final clinch. Only a truly bonkers final twist raises us out of our stupor, if only to exclaim: "What the fuck?" [Keir Roper-Caldbeck]