Christian Schulte-Loh 'Stop Laughing, I Am German!'

Most important question first: Tell us about your show.

Being a blond, 2 metre-tall German comedian, I think we see the set-up right there, don't we?

What's going to be unique about this performance of your show?

I mean: seriously? A German comedian. It's like going to the "Believe It Or Not museum". You go there to see it with your own eyes. If there was a show with a real unicorn in it, you wouldn't ask that question either.

Due to a lawsuit, you're forced to rename your show. What do you call it?

Since now it is called "Stop Laughing, I Am German!" the new title would be "Optimistic views: At least I am not French!".

If your show was a dear friend who had just died, what would you say about it in your eulogy?

I will never forget you – because I have done you so many times.

What inspires you, other than comedy itself?

There is a saying that goes: The mother of idiots is always pregnant. So observing life, people and everything around me writes the best material. And, of course, travelling as a German provokes interesting reactions.

Is there anything in particular that you're looking forward to about playing in Glasgow?

Everything. I did the festival last year and had a great time there. Glaswegian audiences are fantastic. They love comedy and they are very honest. I like that.

A quick anecdote that happened to me when I promoted a free showcase show in Scotland: I was handing out flyers when I proffered one to a local with the request: "Can I invite you to see a free comedy show?" The suspicious guy asked: "Well, how free is it?"

Who would get your vote as president of an independent Scotland?

I'd rather see a Scottish dictator than a president. Dictators rise, they are not being voted for. My perfect candidate would be either Mel Gibson (in character as William Wallace), or Susan Boyle.

What's your favourite comedy festival in the world?

The Vatican International Comedy Festival in Rome.

Who else are you going to see during the Glasgow Festival?

Quite a few bartenders and waitresses. And then I hope to be able to have a beer with Michael Winslow.

Would you like to make a disparaging comment about the Edinburgh Fringe in order to appeal to the Glasgow public? (Don't worry, nobody will remember this by August)

I want to quote one of my audience members from last year here: "You have more fun at a Glasgow funeral, than you have at an Edinburgh wedding."