Alyssa Kyria: Woman of the year?

At the beginning of a show, it's not uncommon for a member of the press to have those sitting next to them make a comment about their Fringe pass. Is, they wonder, the world of comedy criticism is as glamorous as it appears to be?

Sitting in the audience for Alyssa Kyria's show, the friendly gentleman next to me is optimistic: “She seems to have lots of 5-star reviews on her poster!”

But as the show gets underway, I sense his boyish optimism dissolve into a tangible cloud of despair, which quickly spreads out over the rest of the audience.

Overwrought metaphor aside, this is a truly awful show. The audience is subjected to a parade of characters so intensely unlikeable, irritating, or just plain dull that the experience of sitting in a small room with them might inspire the US government to employ Kyria as their alternative to waterboarding. This is self indulgence that could crack the strongest of minds.

From her Greek WAG to her Holiday Rep from hell, each and every character tells the audience how ugly they are, repeatedly, in an assortment of increasingly obnoxious ways. In more competent hands, there is but a faint possibility that such a routine could be funny. In Kyria's, it's simply excruciating.

The audience is left bruised and battered, and rather angry. After the show, the friendly gentleman turns to me and says, “Well, that's two stars then.”

Yes, sir. I wholeheartedly agree.