Cheer up, Boys (Your Make-Up Is Running)

“There’s still a bit on one eye, it’s a cunt to get off” said Josh, while David (real names) nodded in agreement, adding “In the cold light of day I felt like a sexy emo pirate”. Thus male members of The Skinny editorial team recounted their experiences having succumbed to the Fashion Ed’s (well, she’s the expert!) brow-beating/suggestion that guys could and should don make-up as a matter of course. Inebriated confessions revealed we’d all adorned a bit of slap before (shhh), but then again, fancy dress parties and general ossification are always convenient excuses for the curious!

It’s known that men have been wearing make-up for at least 6000 years and of course, everyone from Brando to Jon Snow can get away with it because it’s necessary under the glare of an unforgiving studio light (hmmm…). Bowie, Gene Simmons and Boy George liked to deliberately provoke reaction in the face of conservative twentieth century mores. However, for the rest of us (notwithstanding anyone in the current music scene), wearing make-up is pure emasculation, suggesting we’re on our way to post-op nirvana!

Art Editor Ros (aesthete and noted cosmetic advocate) told us that, “Eyeliner makes eyes look good, simple,” and took over application duties after Josh’s inadvertent attempt at ocular surgery. Highlighting the cultural ingrainment of the whole process she ranted that, “We now live in a world where some women readily confess to being unable to make even a phone call without first putting on their lipstick.”

Are men destined to end up with the same level of dependence? Maybe…there’s a big market out there. Already Boots and H&M offer a men’s make-up line, though the products themselves sport much more ‘manly’ nomenclatures such as Complexion Enhancer or Confidence Corrector…GRRR, HEAR US ROAR!!! London-based cosmetic company Taxi London were keen to supply us with a selection of Guyliner, Manscara and the soon to launch Disguys (yep, you read correctly). Director Jane Williamson thinks there’s definitely a growing trend. “On first launching there were many raw comments about drag queens and pantomime dames etc, but now website sales have escalated and Superdrug can’t keep up with demand.” It seems a new era dawns, but will my esteemed colleagues join me in a dabble next Monday night in our real-ale local? “Not a fucking chance!”