Gushing with Pride (and Pleasure)

Phoebe Henderson continues her sexual quest by turning her attentions to female ejaculation.
Feature by Phoebe Henderson.
Published 23 July 2009

Female ejaculation: probably more elusive than the g-spot according to some people. I’d witnessed the phenomenon in porn films, where it basically looks like the woman is urinating, nay, gushing over some poor sod and passing it off as an explosive, screaming orgasm. But the more I read about it and watched it with a look of bewilderment, the more curious I became. I’m willing to try most things on my carnal voyage; however, if it did indeed turn out to be nothing more than watersports, I’d be drawing a line with a big black magic marker.

Despite my better judgement, I turned to my friends for advice.

“It’s not wee. Honestly,” Lucy protested. “It’s a different colour and everything.”

“Making a woman squirt is probably the horniest thing you’ll ever do,” said my mate Paul, before admitting he’s never actually managed it - it’s just top of his to-do list.

Even though my g-spot has managed to elude many men in the past, I knew it was there and I was willing to become best friends. And so, I googled everything I could think of on female ejaculation, from where it actually comes from to how to successfully do it. In theory, it’s all about pressure, build up and release -simple enough. Right?

Two months later and still no cigar. I’d bought new vibrators, read yet more information, watched videos, and was in danger of ending up with a slightly crampy, claw-like hand and not even a dribble to show for my efforts. My g-spot wasn’t giving up the goods and I began to wonder if my initial 'bullshit' theory was correct. There should have been a formula for it (like shampooing your hair: lather, rinse, repeat), but even though it was a relatively simple act, it wasn’t happening. Some websites simply advised that some women can do it and some can’t. I wasn’t having any of that.

One piece of advice that made me slightly dubious about the whole thing was “you may feel the urge to pee but just keep going”, and realised that the only thing I might successfully accomplish was adult bedwetting.

Then one evening while playing with a new toy (blue, curved and as noisy as a fucking aircraft), it happened. I looked down and my vibrator appeared like it had been run under a tap: the wet patch was rather impressive. I don’t recall any pressure-washer-like spray, but the orgasm was just as anticipated: astounding. I also felt like I’d been punched in the face with a narcolepsy fist, and I fell asleep in record time. Right in the wet patch.

Despite the countless studies passing it off as ‘stress incontinence’ or merely excess lubrication, for me, the change in both fluids and orgasm was very noticeable, and the urge to ‘release’, perhaps like male ejaculation, was undeniable.

So am I convinced?

You betcha.

Comments (1)

Add a comment »

  • "I’m willing to try most things on my carnal voyage; however, if it did indeed turn out to be nothing more than watersports, I’d be drawing a line with a big black magic marker."

    Some of the stuff for the adult movie market is faked for the sake of simplicity. That doesn't mean that genuine squirting orgasms in porn or out of it don't involve fluid from the bladder (whether or not the performer is conscious of it).

    “It’s not wee. Honestly,” Lucy protested. “It’s a different colour and everything.”

    'Lucy' doesn't exactly sound like a scientist, and most women wouldn't want it to be bladder oriented, so would happily believe it isn't. Being a different colour to urine means nothing at all. Urine itself only goes yellow when it's spent time in the bladder and had impurities added. It's very easy to pee clear liquid that doesn't smell of urine. Irritation of the genital area is one of the things that speeds up the processing of fluid in the bladder and causes it to want to 'release'. What I mean by that is; just because you don't want to believe it's urine, just because it's not yellow and stinky - doesn't mean it hasn't come from the bladder. During an intense orgasm one could never tell where it was coming from anyway.

    "I also felt like I’d been punched in the face with a narcolepsy fist, and I fell asleep in record time."

    That sounds a lot like the male experience of orgasm, which has much to do with the chemical cocktail released at the point of orgasm.

    "Some websites simply advised that some women can do it and some can’t. I wasn’t having any of that."

    Some women don't actually have a g-spot, which might explain their inability to 'squirt'.

    "Despite the countless studies passing it off as ‘stress incontinence’ or merely excess lubrication, for me, the change in both fluids and orgasm was very noticeable, and the urge to ‘release’, perhaps like male ejaculation, was undeniable."

    The urge to release from where? The point is that you have managed to have what people call a 'squirting' orgasm, you enjoyed it, and that should be all that matters. I also find it strange that you simply discount the 'countless studies' as if their findings don't suit you so they don't count. Many women have 'laughter leaks', why is it so hard to believe they have 'orgasmic squirts' that come from exactly the same place?

    Posted by Jake | Wednesday November 2009 @ 22:35

    Report to moderator
Leave a comment on this article