Fred Fletch's Student Quiz

1) Psychology was the most popular course in universities this year, so our future shelf-stackers will probably be piling up biscuits between calls from the Mayor to help profile and capture elusive space-criminals. What was the second most popular course this year?

2) Education doesn't come cheap, but thankfully supermarket value noodles are both economical and a convenient way to tell your colon to go fuck itself. If you have £5 and spend £2.59 on a loo-brush, how many packets of everyday value chicken noodles could you buy with the change?

3) While in the queue for a club, some hipster is loudly thrown into the street by doormen. Since everyone was filming it on their goddamn iPhones, he will be on YouTube within the hour. What would you search for it under?

a) 'Screaming pussy in lensless glasses'
b) 'Son, I'm divorcing your mother as 18 years ago she clearly had an affair with the concept of disappointment'
c) Sarcastic excuse for a Doctor Who costume gets his ass kicked

4) Sure, you're working towards a Bioscience degree and may one day unlock the cure to cancer or unfussy elephant insemination, but it’s still fun to get loaded on Jägerbombs and steal a traffic cone. Which statue in Glasgow famously and routinely displays the pedestrian and cone-based sense of humour of local students?

5) Thanks to a 'Are You Smarter than a Ten Year Old' marathon, you've completely forgotten to do that essay. But it's fine, you have the internet. Using Wikipedia, detail the quickest ‘6 degrees of separation’-style route from slightly racist, fat suit comedy Big Momma’s House 3 to your chosen university subject.

6) Since everyone agrees that we are two bank crashes and a Megaoctopus away from Armageddon, your bachelor's in Art History is going to be less than useless in our Mad Max-style future. Switch to law, and tell us which of the following rules will be legally enforced in the Thunderdome:

a) TWO MEN ENTER. ONE MAN LEAVES.
b) BREAK A DEAL, FACE THE WHEEL.
c) TWO BIG MOMMAS, ONE BIG COMEDY.

7) Of every ten students who study Parapsychology, how many go on to become full time Ghostbusters?