The Skinny On... Liam Withnail

What’s your favourite place to visit and why?
My farm on Stardew Valley. I'm very close to having an optimum setup in regards to turning starfruit into wine, but I have to craft a lot more kegs first. 

Favourite food and why?
Pizza, and nothing else even comes close. I'd love to say something more interesting but I have a literal pizza tattoo. Razzo Pizza in Edinburgh is GOATED and I'm mentioning them in hope of a freebie.

Favourite colour and why?
I wear a lot of black. It’s slimming, goes with everything, is neutral on stage, and goth as fuck. 

Who was your hero growing up?
Italian footballer turned fascist Paolo Di Canio (before he was a fascist (publicly)).

Whose work inspires you now?
Hayao Miyazaki, the Studio Ghibli director. He’s old as hell, still smoking tabs and drawing weird little guys. I find that inspiring. 

What three people would you invite to your dinner party and what are you cooking?
I would like to have Alex Jones (not The One Show presenter), Laurence Fox and Katie Hopkins, and I am cooking them in a giant witch's cauldron and cackling. 

What’s your all-time favourite album?
Probably In Rainbows by Radiohead. I know what a ‘6 Music Dad’ answer that is, but it opened up a portal in my mind with regards to music taste. 

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen?
I really hated La La Land. Hollywood actors sniffing their own farts for two hours, and it was falsely advertised to me as "not really a musical" and then in the first scene everyone is dancing on a motorway.

As this is the Film issue, can you also tell us the best film you’ve ever seen?
I'm going to cheat and give you my Letterboxd Top 4. There Will Be Blood, The Handmaiden, Chungking Express and Paris, Texas.

If there was going to be a film about your life, who would you cast as Liam Withnail?
Considering someone heckled me recently with "Homeless Brendan Fraser" I would say, Brendan Fraser (homeless).

What book would you take to a desert island?
Jamie's 15 Minute Meals.

When did you last cry?
It doesn't take much. I think I cried at Poor Things. The girl just loves pasteis de nata and shagging, and who amongst us doesn't. 

What are you most scared of?
Moths, bats, anything airborne that flaps about without dignity. 

When did you last vomit and why?
The last time I vomited was the last time I drank. Eight and a half years ago, after drinking in The Hive. Vomit could be related to booze or location, still unsure tbh. 

Tell us a secret...
I struggle to tell the time, and I have to count my way around the clock to figure it out. 

Which celebrity could you take in a fight?
I would like to punch Piers Morgan’s head clean off his shoulders and kick it into the sea. Is this the sort of answer you're looking for?

If you could be reincarnated as an animal, which animal would it be?
One of those little Japanese monkeys that has baths and steals people’s iPhones. 

You’re bringing your tour Chronic Boom to Glasgow Comedy Festival. What’s been your favourite audience reaction to the show so far?
Having people with chronic illnesses tell me how much they relate to the show and feel seen; that's really special.

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Liam Withnail kicks off his Chronic Boom tour at The Stand in Glasgow on 29 Mar as part of Glasgow Comedy Festival before taking it to venues across the UK in Apr and May, including a hometown show at Edinburgh's Monkey Barrel on 20 Apr. Full tour details at berksnest.com/liam