Mixed Bizness: Closing Time

Another small but compelling chapter in the heaving tome that is Glasgow’s club scene will come to a close at the end of this month. Very soon, for the first time in eight years, there will not be any Mixed Bizness parties going off somewhere in the city, and that can only be considered to be a very substantial loss. From the Mixed Bizness nights at The Art School to How’s Your Party? at Sub Club, Ben Coghill, or Boom Monk Ben, has been on a mission to make people stay out far too late in dimly-lit rooms. But all of that is about to change. 

“I've been doing Mixed Bizness parties for eight and a half years”, Ben explains. “I’ve booked hundreds of DJs, played thousands of tunes, printed millions of flyers, lost billions of pounds, bought a yacht then sunk it in the Clyde when D-Form and I put on a boat party that no one showed up to because Shaun [Murphy] didn't get the flyer done on time, but I paid my mortgage and I’ve lived a good life while I've done it.” Something pretty important must have come up to make you leave all of this behind then? “All the while, I've never seen one episode of The Sopranos. Not one, ever. Everyone says it's really good and having read about it on Wikipedia, I figured, let's do this. So something had to give.” 

While the rest of us are left to wonder what might have been had we been able to resist the lure of the boxsets until we had achieved something first, Ben is already telling us anecdotes about some of the moments that have defied the haziness of memory. “The first and last nights at The Art School were the most memorable for me. The last was a rammy of the highest order. Stage invasions, crowd surfing, five ‘one more tunes’. Me dancing with my sister to Chaka Khan's Ain't Nobody after Million Dan's Dogz N Sledgez caused a full scale riot – the perfect way to end that chapter.”

“The first night there in March 2004 was all going well apart from the band we booked were in a huff because we'd described them as 'jumped up P-Funk, dressed up like fannies' on the flyer. Which was true, but we really liked their tunes and meant no harm,” Ben explains. “‘The health hazard formerly known as Rab's Boutique was treating everyone to triples of Pete Rock's remix of Shut ‘Em Down by Public Enemy, which made the dancefloor go buckwild like nothing else. Unfortunately at that point a light that was precariously balanced on a beam above came loose and fell right on a girl's face, splitting her nose open and killing the vibes. They tried to pin it on us for 'making them go too crazy' but we swiftly deflected that accusation with some basic insights into health and safety. Ratchet-strap, much? We still love them though. It was probably Pete Rock's fault, let's be honest. Judging by the reasons he cancelled on us in 2008, most things are.”

Speaking of crazy nights, this seems the perfect opportunity to press Ben on what the plans for the final outing will be. “It's going to be free entry for everyone, all night. We're keeping it pretty simple with a line up of close friends and allies. Our favourite low slung son Bobby S-Type will be opening proceedings, bringing his boom schlap noise to get the girls grinding early on. Then Profisee will be treating us to some live selections from his recent album From All Angles. He's by far the best MC round these parts and it's never anything but a blessing to have him command our mic for the night. Hint will be doing a live set full of his awkward riddims and fuzzy bass claps and he's been one of my closest compadres through all of this. Finally I'll see us home while Visual Aids will be making us all look stupid on a good few tellies and projectors. Make of that what you will.”

So, what will Glasgow be like post-Mixed Bizness? “Glasgow’s great and it always has been. There's always something on in somewhere good and I know that more than most. Mainly because I painfully miss all of it due to DJing and putting on my own nights. I've spun tunes and got wrecked all over the world but there's nowhere I'd rather do it than Glasgow. So I think I'll do more of that and let someone else do all the hard work. My future lies in the hands of the gods. As always the acts I am currently supporting are all my great friends that make brilliant music and play amazing records that make me want to switch places with everyone else so I get a better seat at the rave. Shaun, HaHaHa, Mia Dora, Raksha, Hint, S-Type, Profisee, Sam, NoFace, Point To C, Djamba, Duncan, Sweenbot, D-Form, Dougal & Floyd will get my support in the best possible way. From the dance floor while I punch fuck out of the Sub Club ceiling.”