Halloween Clubbing 2008

You reach an age where knocking on old ladies’ doors and shouting “TRICK OR TREAT!?” stops being cute and starts to run the risk of landing you on Crimewatch. But don’t dismay – there are plenty of other reasons to adorn yourself with fangs and fake blood and hit the town on Halloween. Both Edinburgh and Glasgow provide guys with a wide range of legitimate excuses to wear their mum’s makeup while girls can dress as slutty as they want whilst claiming it’s all in aid of the “discount entry price in fancy-dress”.

The spooky celebrations kick off early in Glasgow with the Club Noir Halloween Nightmare on 25 October, promising a decadent night of Burlesque fun with live shows and a crowd who are always dressed to kill. The same evening sees The Arches host the Inside Out Halloween party with house techno and trance from Super8 + Tab, Marcus Schossow, Kamui and Frase. If you don’t quite have your costume prepared that far in advance then fear not, later on in the week Octopussy hosts a 'Neon Halloween' party full of scary surprises including an 18 foot pool of blood for apple ducking. Things could get messy; but you shouldn’t wear your smartest outfit anyway, as the entry price will be reduced for clubbers who make a fancy dress effort.

On Halloween itself the Soundhaus welcomes Sin’s 'Zombie Uprising' night. Expect ear-bleeding noise in the form of metal, classic rock and alternative sounds. The Research Club hosts a Halloween Hootenanny with bawdy and gaudy rock 'n' roll, rhythm 'n' blues and psychedelia. Clubbers of a more electronic musical persuasion could do well to check out Green Velvet, Oxia and Slam at Pressure on the 31st. Fancy dress isn't essential but you probably won’t get stared at if you do rock up in full costume.

In the capital things are looking just as lively…or deadly (sorry) with Edinburgh clubbers having a vast array of Pagan-inspired festivities to choose from. On 30 October is Halloween Sick Note at Cab Vol which offers free entry from 11pm and drinks prizes for the best costumes. Also on the 30th LuckyMe team up with Big Toe’s Hifi for a fancy dress Halloween bash at the Wee Red bar, featuring live music from The Blessings.

On October 31st Boombox, one of Edinburgh’s finest trance nights, presents 'Boobox' (see what they did there?), a Halloween special at Luna nightclub. They welcome back special guest Richard Durand, bringing his upfront tech-trance all the way from Amsterdam. Arguably one of the spookiest venues in Scotland, The Caves, is also throwing a special Halloween Party on the 31st. 'Wicked Wild West' will be a casino club night with cowboys, saloon girls and bandits dancing to the sounds of Vegas DJ Lenny Love. The £15 ticket price includes food and gambling chips and all proceeds will go to charity.

In Dundee the Reading Rooms’ brand new sister club, Club Okupa, boasts Radioclit on the 31st while in Aberdeen scrare-seekers can head to Snafu on the 27th for the Black Tooth Halloween Ball. Look out for magicians, tarot card readers, fire jugglers and burlesque performances with tunes courtesy of New York legend Adam Bomb. The fancy dress theme is 'Glam Rock' so expect to see even more big hair and skin-tight trousers than usual.

It seems you really are spoilt for choice when it comes to Halloween partying, now the hard part is choosing your costume. There's always that eternal Halloween dilemma: finding an impressive costume without looking like you’ve tried too hard. Cutting eyeholes in your bed sheet to be a “ghost” is lazy. Duct-taping your legs together and then individually gluing on 20,000 real fish scales to make yourself “The Little Mermaid” is really a step too far. If all else fails, douse yourself in glitter-glue and pretentiously announce you’re dressed as something abstract like “harmony” or “love”.

Halloween should really be given more credit – it's far more fun than Christmas. There's nothing more surreal than grooving on a dancefloor packed with witches, devils, werewolves and Amy Winehouses and, even better, you don’t have to buy anyone presents. Having this many options for nights out also makes it easier to lose your tasteless friend who decided to dress up as Myra Hindley… which is probably just as well. Happy Halloween!