Fun Size @ Le Cheetah, 24 Dec

Perhaps, just perhaps, your past Christmas experiences haven't mirrored a festive TV ad of parties in snow covered streets, endless buffets and lashings of mulled wine. Fear not, disenchanted reveller, as Teamy (Wrong Island) and David Barbarossa (Curious Curious) have joined forces to ensure that you need not spend Christmas Eve in the depths of despair as yet another anniversary of the bold J.C. fails to live up to expectations. This month they are joined by Optimo's JG Wilkes for added black wax enjoyment.

Fun Size, with its vertically challenged hosts and policy of only allowing fun records on the turntables, will be opening its doors for the third time and welcoming guests onto a dancefloor by a crackling log fire and stockings fit to burst, probably. Chin strokers, please stay at home to update your Discogs wishlist, your type isn't welcome here. [Chris Duncan]