Abi Roberts: Takes you Up The Aisle

This is a genuinely odd show, and even at the end of it I still wasn’t 100% sure what genre it was. In her fifties-style wedding dress, Roberts narrates the history of her tragi-comic lovelife, looking for all the world like Marilyn Monroe by way of Joan Sims. Over the next hour she sings cover versions, jokes, impersonates celebrities, and does high kicks that make the whole floor shake.

I would say she does none of these things spectacularly well. However, I’d probably whisper it in case the audience mauled me. Predominantly well brought up, slightly drunk females, they could have been lifted lock stock out the Vagina Monologues. There is swooning, there are tears, there’s even swaying of hands at another jaw clenching wedding-based song. It half occurs to me that someone should get a lighter out, and no sooner do I think this than mobiles are lifted above heads on torch mode.

Far and away Roberts' best song was Cyber Love Blues, a truly funny song you can bet she tore out in about fifteen minutes flat, spurred on by sheer frustration with internet dating. The whole show would have been vastly improved if there had been more of this, and less of the sweaty cheese.