7 Bullshit Excuses for Racist Halloween Costumes

Ah, there's a chill in the air and the scent of carved pumpkins lingers. As Halloween approaches, the temptation to dress up like a racist stereotype inexplicably grows for many. Here's every excuse you or others might make, and why they're a pile of pish

But it’s the theme!

Without meaning to flog a dead idiom, if your party-throwing pal told you to jump off a bridge, would you? Plus, there are plenty ways around an offensive theme (that is, if you actually want to party with a room full of people who’re totally cool with dressing up as ‘rappers’). Think tangentially, be creative. Take the opportunity for a hearty bit of SJW passive aggression – there’s nothing stopping you from turning up to that Hoes and Rappers party as a gardening implement. Or a Quavers packet.

But I used to dress up as Pocahontas when I was little! It’s nostalgic.

Do you know what else is probably quite nostalgic? Remembering a time before settlers plundered the Americas and carried out mass genocide and ethnic cleansing against the native population. Just a thought, idk?

But it’s not racist, it’s appreciation!

Okay. Let’s break this one down. Dressing up as people from other races, or wearing items of clothing which hold cultural or spiritual significance for others for the sake of a party, isn’t okay. Read this. It isn’t. Honestly. Even if you don’t believe me now, save yourself the waves of shame you’ll feel in a couple of years when you finally wake the fuck up. Times change, progress happens, lazy people struggle to keep up. After all, that racist toy your grandmother now ashamedly hides in her airing cupboard didn’t buy itself.

Secondly, can we just take a moment to appreciate that you’re literally picking the scariest day of the year to dress up as someone from another race? MUST WE SPELL THIS OUT?!?!

But everyone does it!

Wake up, sheeple.

But my costume isn’t that racist. It’s not even the worst costume at this party.

That’s a) subjective and b) not exactly a great excuse. Capitalising on other cultures for the sake of general lols is shitty behaviour, no matter how much or little you commit to it.

But I have the costume from last year – it’s just convenient!

Stop being a cheap bastard. With great costumes come great responsibilities. Those responsibilities include shelling out a few quid on sharpies and safety pins. Nobody wants to be that guy who wears the same thing two years in a row, especially if the ‘thing’ in question is a Nazi costume.

But I dressed in a culturally insensitive costume last year. Changing tack now would mean admitting I’m a massive racist!

Well, that’s just absolutely illogical. The deed is done. You dressed up as Bob Marley back in your 420 Blaze It phase and there’s a photo of you whiteying into a dreadlock wig at 3am to prove it. 'Past you' wasn't without their faults. But acknowledging that problematic behaviour doesn’t make you a bad person, it just puts you on the right path towards living a life less twattish. Now put that mass-produced rastacap in the bin and start living your best, least problematic life.