Go Away! - Bangkok

Few people head to Thailand for the sake of the capital, but The Skinny specialises in unearthing unexpected treats. Here Deborah Martin gives her insider's guide to bustling Bangkok

Feature by Deborah Martin | 08 Oct 2007

In many ways Thailand is the paradise you imaged when you doodled a palm tree on your office memo pad. But there's more to the 'land of smiles' than mango shakes and sun scorched beaches. This complex country has as many layers as a ladyboy's lipstick, and its capital city acts simultaneously as a shopper's Mecca, sex-tourist's wet dream and halfway-house for the backpacking hoards of Europe.

Most people arrive in Bangkok, take one look at the dinosaur-jaw skyline of half-finished skyscrapers and (like Kurt Russell in Escape from New York) start searching for the nearest way out. But if you can sit-out the initial culture shock you'll find there's a lot worth experiencing before bailing to the beach. After all, where else can you enjoy activities ranging from prostrating before a giant golden Buddha to being assaulted by suspiciously paced ping-pong balls? (This latter is a reference to one of the more common sex-show routines - ed.)

After leaving the airport and successfully negotiating the obstacles of whisky-soaked cab drivers, bar girls with ice-pick stilettos and marauding packs of mangy street dogs (and that's just the first hour), most people head to the 'border town' of Koh San Road – a mistake that seasoned travellers tend to avoid. This isn't "my passport has more stamps than Lemmy has tattoos" type-snobbery. Everyone will tell you that Koh San Road is great – for stocking up on sarongs and suntan lotion. On the flip side is mediocre food, jaded locals and ceaseless noise (and believe me when you're jet-lagged you'll want your kip).

It's best to stay a stone's throw away in the leafier suburbs further down in Banglamphu, though be sure to return to Koh San to party – brave a 'Bangkok Bucket' (the local noxious brew), drink cocktails at the Ladyboy bar, or for a mellower evening squeeze into the hookah café to puff on apple tobacco accompanied by soothing rose tea.

It's best to start your first full day by taking a taxi boat down the Chao Phraya River where you can marvel at the ornate temples lining the banks (who said Bangkok wasn't pretty?) before heading to The Grand Palace - the two hundred year-old residence of the King of Thailand which also houses the magnificent Temple of the Emerald Buddha. Remember to wear covered shoes, though, or you'll be made to model entirely unflattering socks.

Then it's time to place your life in the hands of Lady Luck by taking a motorcycle taxi across town - there is no more breathtaking way to see Bangkok, provided you don't mind careering up narrow alleyways at breakneck speed whilst chickens squawk in alarm. Your destination is the Siam Square shopping district, where you can splurge on cut-price designer gear while watching Thai students parade their boutique style. Next, jump on the Sky Train for a rooftop tour of the city before disembarking at Lumphini Park to buy souvenirs at the Night Bazaar, or feast at the food court offering every variation of Thai street fare. Finish the evening by watching red curtains unroll to reveal a dozen pinging suspenders at a gay cabaret on Sukhumvit Road, or if that's not your bag then head to the popular Brown Sugar jazz bar – but be warned, most clubs in Bangkok close early and after 1am the race is on to find the latest after-hours place.

Finally, it's time to return to your guesthouse to catch up on a few hours of sleep before the neighborhood cockerel rouses you from your Beer Chang induced slumber, hopefully in time for fresh coffee and banana pancakes.

It's true, most people don't come to Thailand for the capital city, but if you can see past the dirt, the crowds, the smog, the too-muchness of it all... then you're sure to have a good time. All in all, don't expect to especially like Bangkok – but do expect to enjoy it!

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