Parasites

Even before the first lines of dialogue are spoken we know that Professor Kirk is going to be the funny man and Professor Harris is going to be the straight man, and yet fully the first half 'Parasites' is wasted establishing this relationship. Harris frets prissily over an impending departmental inspection by his arch-nemesis, Professor Clara Baff, while Kirk is amusingly drunk and apathetic. There follows a half-formed plot involving Baff's secret military lab, Kirk's estranged sister and mind-infecting parasites, all of it simply told to us in clumsy exposition. By the time we get to the flesh-eating zombies promised by the poster there is so little time left that they are defeated almost as soon as they are introduced.

The actors play their parts with gusto, and there are a few genuinely funny beats, such as a disgusting sight-gag involving a large dollop of Branston pickle. But the characters are stock, the pacing bad, and the plot is little more than a frame from which to hang obscene insults and snappy one-liners. [Julian Smith]