FBI: Fairy Tale Bureau of Investigation

Mother Goose has been kidnapped. We all know the police are ill-equipped to cope with such testing circumstances. This is a job for the FBI: the Fairy Tale Bureau of Investigation.

Unfortunately, this is a production which caters to the lowest IQ levels. This might be permissible for an audience of kids but there were none present. The youngest people there were onstage, subjecting their audience to toneless raps about the Big Bad Wolf and acting as if shunning the token “gay kid” is a worthy comedic device.

The show has little to offer. However, there were some positive messages in this show. “It’s good to read!” and “Don’t judge a book by its cover” in super-happy stereo replete with thumbs-up was just the sort of morale boost one requires when watching teenager performers who haven’t yet figured out when-to-take-a-break-between-words-so-as-not-to-run-everything-together-without-expression!

Also, if there was one thing the world is woefully lacking, it is a retelling of Cinderella in the patois of Mean Girls. Can you think of anything more "totally fetch"?