Son of Dork - Eddie's Song

Although all available facts already seem to indicate that James Bourne is a talentless musical leech, his head must have been particularly empty on the day he decided to pen this little ditty. Perhaps the most unimaginative track of the year so far, Eddie's Song finds Bourne flipping lazily through the Dictionary of Americanised Pop-Punk, before carefully earmarking the pages devoted to emotionless platitudes and over-produced chugging riffs. Some people seem to think its okay to write songs this bad just because the boys are playing their own instruments. Newsflash: playing the guitar is not rocket science – give me twenty minutes and I could teach a monkey to write a song that would sound like Purple Haze next to this shit. [Jay Shukla]