Just the Three of Us
The coming together of Drever, McCusker and Woomble inspires a brief look at the recent (and not so recent) history of the threesome. No sexy stuff, unless you count the Charmed ones...
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1. The Supremes: Hands up who’s ever heard of a four-piece girl band called The Primettes? No? Well that’s who the Supremes were before trimming to a svelte trio (it’s the magic number y’see) and becoming the most successful group ever in all of Motown. Of course there’s always one who thinks they’re better than the rest. In this case, the band had to endure a name change to Diana Ross & The Supremes until the leading lady departed the scene for a hugely successful solo career as an airport staff-botherer.
2. The Bee Gees: Manc brothers Barry, Maurice and Robin Gibb looked on in awe as the Beach Boys wowed the world with their jaunty tunes and incredibly tight harmonies. Determined to take things to the next level, they tightened their trousers and embarked on a strict diet of oestrogen, culminating in a falsetto so high-pitched it was outwith the audio range of anyone over 30. No matter, they soundtracked the 70s (well, Saturday Night Fever... close) and managed to make disco hugely popular.
3. Bros: Twins Matt and Luke formed this act (pronounced ‘Bross’, rhyming with both their surname (Goss) and more aptly ‘Dross’) in the late 80s with Kirkcaldy man Craig Logan. Ludicrously popular for a nanosecond, over-produced pap-pop single When Will I Be Famous is credited with starting both the boyband cult and this country’s current celebrity obsession (cheers guys). Logan left to become a producer and the twins eventually called it quits in '92. Luke carved out a niche in horror films while Matt got engaged to MTV babe Daisy Fuentes. Nothing good lasts forever though, and the boys recently announced they’ll be going down the Take That / Boyzone route and reforming. Fuckers!
4. George, Tony and Saddam: George Jnr: “Yo Blair, my Daddy tells me that Camel Fucker in eye-rack’s got some weapons of mass distraction hidden under all those lovely oil fields. Let’s beat him up!”
Tony: “Anything you say your highness, now would you like me to go a little lower?”
Saddam: “That’s a new one to me. I only ever learned the Windsor. What’s it called? A slip knot you sa…”
And so the 21st Century’s Marx Brothers held court on the world stage for far too long. When it became apparent that not everyone got their humour (we all know that feeling), Saddam, in true rock n roll fashion, departed the scene ‘tragically young’. Tony forged a lucrative but low-key solo career and George took up his rightful residence at the Boston Zoo tea party.
5. The Charmed Ones: Phoebe, Piper and Pru (who was later replaced by Paige) were three witches with very special magical powers. Together, they were the unstoppable Charmed, living in San Francisco in this faintly ridiculous sci-fantasy tv romp of the same name. Inherently ‘good’ (as opposed to ‘not very good at all’), the sisters did their level best to defeat evil demons, unreliable hormones and (particularly in Phoebe’s case) a wardrobe which left little to the imagination. Invariably, they emerged victorious (barr Pru, who tragically died of Toxic Shock Syndrome) proving unequivocally that nothing, yes nothing, beats the Power of Three.