Creepy Ghost Stories
“I’ll come back after I die,” Dad told me, fixing me intently with his mad, yellow eyeballs as he lay dying in bed. “To watch over you and make sure your mum doesn’t slag about.” I’ll never forget how peaceful he looked as he contorted and frothed in my arms. His spasms and gurgled cries seeming to say, “Don’t worry.” Finally, he exhaled his last breath and was gone.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhuggggghhhhhhhh!” he said.
The smell of his final cigarette wafted into my tearful face as though it was Dad’s soul leaving his body. I took the smouldering tab from his hand and snuffed it out, much like his life had just been snuffed out by a cruel and merciless Universe.
After Dad’s death I found it very difficult to meet guys. The one thing Dad had always wanted for me was to meet someone special, settle down and “squeeze out some grandkids” that could “go to the shop” for him. He was always joking around and drinking.
For months after the funeral I was depressed. Then Mum told me to “get out there” and go speed dating like she was. Mum had dealt with the death of my father really well, she was so much stronger than I was, telling me one night in Jumping Jacks, “There’s plenty more dads in the sea!”
At the time I thought speed dating was a good idea, but it was a complete disaster! It became clear that all blokes seemed to want to do was have a snog and some sex.
Then I met Lee. Lee was different. He was the perfect gentleman. He didn’t push to have sex at all like the others. All Lee wanted to do was bring me back to his house in a taxi so we could talk about our feelings. It was refreshing. At the time my only experience with guys was that they wanted to have sex about their feelings!
Lee loved me for me. Not for “that hole” in my body “there,” he reassured me. “It’s just a hole,” he said, pointing at my groin again. “It’s not got any of you in it.”
This was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.
Even so, I never got into the taxi with Lee no matter how many times he asked me. Then one night whilst Lee was playing the fruit machine in the pub I finally told him about how I felt after Dad died, about the “Dad-shaped” hole inside me. Out of all the guys I met, Lee was the only one who seemed to totally understand. “I’ve got loads I want to share with you too,” Lee said, putting another pound coin into the slot. “Maybe I could fill that hole in you with some of it."
As he gazed at the TV screen above my head, I looked lovingly into his eyes. There was a twinkle in his eyes, maybe it was just from the screen, but he was so sweet and had lovely big blue eyes, like black circles with blue rings around the black. I could tell at that moment that Lee was The One, the one that I would eventually make love to, when we were married a few years down the line.
“You’re more than a slab of flesh to me,” he smiled as he relentlessly put another coin into the slot. “That’s why I love you.”
That was the first night I got into the taxi with Lee. It was a big step for us, sleeping in the same bed. We watched a DVD of the World’s Worst Police Chases and settled in for our big 'sleepover.' I won’t lie, Lee did try a bit of heavy petting and he pushed his groin against my thigh like a naughty teenager! But we both knew that the time wasn’t right.
“Fine,” Lee said, as he turned away to sleep.
The next morning I awoke, but my eyes wouldn’t open properly. “Lee! Lee!” I screamed. “I’ve gone blind!”
“No you haven’t,” Lee reassured me, gently prising my eyelids open with his big fingers. “Something mysterious has happened instead. It must have been a ghost.”
Lee was right, I had ectoplasm all over my face.
“I’ve heard about this in films,” he explained, handing me a cloth. “It’s science. This is the stuff ghosts give off as waste when they fly around.”
Then it hit me. I’d always believed in ghosts, ever since Dad died and became one. I always felt that Dad was floating about, watching over me like he said he would. Now I had the proof. He’d given me a sign.
“Oh my God,” I suddenly thought. “Dad! It’s Dad, trying to send me a message from beyond the grave!” I started crying.
“Daddy...” I said, and Lee’s smile showed that he understood exactly what I meant. He cuddled me as I told him all about what Dad had gurgled at me on his deathbed.
“He’s trying to tell you something.” Lee said. “You should stay over more often so we can get to the bottom of this mystery.”
We both spent the day wondering what the message could mean as Lee completed Resident Evil: Code Veronica. But it was only later that the true explanation hit me... Dad wanted Lee and I to get married! He was giving us his blessing.
Five years later I found myself stood outside the local church where Dad had been buried. There Goes the Bride was playing on the PA system as I entered and slowly made my way down the aisle, my husband-to-be waiting nervously at the altar with the kindly priest. But with Dad long-gone, who was walking me down the aisle?
Several friends of the family had kindly offered to take my father’s role in this ceremony, but I told them no thanks. I had a jar of my Dad’s ectoplasm to walk me down the aisle. Dad would be there after all. I had my Jar of Dad!
The start of the wedding was lovely, the priest talked about how love was eternal and God was eternal and how eternal things last forever and how forever is the longest amount of time anyone can think of.
Then it was time to do some serious marrying!
“I do,” we both said when the priest asked us if we did, and with that, the ceremony was completed; in the eyes of God, Lee and I were now a single legal entity.
At the reception my Dad Jar was the talk of the party! “What’s that you’ve got there?” people asked, pointing at it, full to the brim with yellowing slime.
“That’s my Dad.” I told them proudly. “He’s been visiting me in the night for years.” “It’s ectoplasm,” Lee shouted, pulling the bottle of WKD out of his mouth to explain. “Like in Ghostbusters.”
People shook their heads in disbelief; the shock was too much for some, my mum included, who cried with happiness, absolutely speechless and nauseous after I revealed to her what was in my jar and made her smell it.
After my wedding night, Dad stopped his ghostly visits. I could tell that he was at peace now. He could finally rest. And Lee slept soundly for the first time in years!
All that was left to do was release my father back into the spirit world from whence he came. Lee suggested we drive out to the beach one weekend and I jumped at the chance to bring the Dad Jar along for the ride. We found the perfect cliff, and after I said a few words I unscrewed the lid and waited for the jar’s solidified contents to slide out, bouncing and exploding down the side of the cliff, showering the unsuspecting sunbathers below in the paranormal essence. Dad always was a bit of a joker! At the end of the day, Lee told me, the screams and cries of the people as they were sprayed head-to-toe with globules of unearthly ectoplasm is what he would have wanted.
Now Lee and I are expecting our first child, and we couldn’t be happier. Sometimes, about once a month, I still sense that Dad is up there, looming over me. But I know now he’s at peace. And I hope that maybe one day, when me and Lee are dead too, we can all be ghosts together.