Trailer Trash #2: New Year's Eve
New Year's Eve is to rom-com-nuts what the internet is to paedophiles; a necessary evil that keeps these twisted individuals away from society's most vulnerable. Ashton Kutcher, Sarah Jessica Parker, Katherine Heigl, Ludacris, Jon Bon Jovi, Zac Efron, Jessica Biel: the endless A-List names (the 'A' stands for 'Ass-cyclists') read like a list of 'actors' most of us would probably like to punch in the face.* Well, form an orderly queue folks.
"Some people swear there's no beauty left in the world, no magic." Who? Who says that? And more importantly, why are you listening to their advice? "Then how do you explain the entire world coming together on one night?" What? The last time I checked the Chinese, for one, celebrated New Year on a different date. Am I wrong? Have I missed something here or has the narrator just blanked a fifth of the entire population of the planet?
Also, you'd have to be a complete automaton not to realise this is just a re-working of Love, Actually, Valentine's Day and the like. Yes, Love, Actually grew on people, in the way violent, rapey captors grow on their hostages, but is there really any need for more Stockholm Syndrome movies? The worrying thing is that somewhere in Hollywoodland there's an infinite number of retarded monkeys randomly bashing this stuff out. Speaking of retarded monkeys, sounds like they did the soundtrack too. Although, that could have been a different team. It's so hard to tell these days, there's just so many.
And finally, wee Bobby De Niro chips in with, "Nothing beats New York on New Year's Eve." Nothing eh? I bet the cheque you received for appearing in this visual fisting betters it Bobby.
Comments (2)
Add a comment »Much as I loathe Garry Marshall's diabetic sentimentality, this sort of smug studenty carping isn't much of an alternative. Lazy too, because the Chinese do take a holiday on Jan 1.
A boring, pedantic point - so it should fit in nicely with The Skinny.Posted by | Wednesday 07 December 2011 @ 21:43
Reported to moderatorIn 2011's 'Troll Hunter' which one were you? Were you the weird 3-headed one or the slightly retarded one that didn't fully understand this is an irreverent preview of the movie based on the trailer and not a critique of the movie itself? Methinks the latter.
Ok, I'm off to leave some comments on some sites I don't like. Later.
p.s. Next time you visit please remember to bring your sense of humour. Cheers.
Posted by | Sunday 11 December 2011 @ 22:45
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