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Top Ten Events 1-8 Dec: Broken Records, Erol Alkan + Bigfoot's 3rd Birthday

THE WEEK AHEAD...

It's December. Christmas is officially not-that-long away. And so, in an attempt to be all seasonal and jolly, we're Christmas Party-ing it up with Gerry Loves Records, who have a rather fine live line-up for the occasion, plus the obligatory mince pies. We're then going to groan along to the 80s shit-fest that is Patrick Swayze's Road House, pummel our ear-lugs with some too loud DIY hardcore at Book Yer Ane Fest, and attempt to get drunk on Bigfoot's homemade vodka jelly (at their 3rd birthday bash). How very bloody festive of us.

PICKS O' THE WEEK

MUSIC

1. Gerry Loves Xmas

The Banshee Labyrinth, Edinburgh

Fri 2 Dec, 7.30pm, £7

Diminutive DIY label Gerry Loves Records host their Christmas party night with a pretty damn good live line-up. Headering the bill will be Edinburgh's mathematic riff magicians Lady North, joined by PAWS, Trapped In Kansas, Field Mouse, and The Japanese War Effort (the latter two of which will be launching their split cassette on the night). Y'all can also expect additional surprise guests, mince pies, and DJs playing into the bedtime hours. What's more, the Limbo lot host their Christmas bash the following night, with Delta Mainline, Molly Wagner, and Will Hanson playing live, hopefully in seasonal get up. Festiveness abounded.

MUSIC

2. Broken Records

Cabaret Voltaire, Edinburgh & Captain's Rest, Glasgow

Tue 6 & Wed 7 Dec, 7pm, £10/£8.50

Broken Records embark on their all-Scottish 5th birthday tour, stopping by both Edinburgh and Glasgow over the week (and then Dundee, Dunfermline, and Aberdeen the following week). To celebrate they'll be playing a selection of new songs for the first time, plus some old favourites – for which apparently no album track, B-side, or cover is out of bounds. They've also lined up some pretty special support, joined by RM Hubbert, and The Douglas Firs in Edinburgh, and Jill O'Sullivan, Jenny Reeve, and Kid Canaveral for their Glasgow date.

CLUBS

3. Bigfoot's 3rd Birthday

Sub Club, Glasgow

Fri 2 Dec, 11pm, £8

The Bigfoot's crew celebrate their 3rd birthday in a suitably eclectic fashion, inviting along mysterious Romanian duo NoiDoi for their first ever Scottish set of Baracca-styled electronics. They're also busy scheming plenty of other surprises, including a brand new stage set-up of live visuals, a strobe cave, exclusive Bigfoot's bracelets, and the sin that is their homemade vodka jelly. There's also pre-party action at Bar Ten, and a secret after-party (to be revealed on the night). Plus, they've put together a trio of specially-recorded resident mixtapes, which you can listen to and download here.

FILM

4. All Night Bad Movie Experience

Cameo Cinema, Edinburgh

Sat 3 Dec, 10pm, £15.50 (£14.50)

Celebrating movies of the so bad they're, well, just plain bad variety, those cheeky chappies behind the All Night Horror events present The All Night Bad Movie Experience, where they'll screen a quartet of dubious offerings right through the night, including Tommy Wiseau's cult hit The Room, hammy 80s action flick Samurai Cop, demented slasher mind-trip Hospital Massacre, and an ultra-rare showing of the ridiculous cheese-fest that is Road House, featuring Patrick Swayze in all his swoonsome glory. Watch the trailer: here.

SHOPPING

5. Little Birds Christmas Market

Sloans, Glasgow

Sun 4 & Sun 11 Dec, noon-5pm, Free

That delightful lot of makers and shakers over at Little Birds Market host the first of two Christmas specials, for which they'll take over their usual haunt of Sloans for a festive-themed fancy, with 20-odd stalls selling vintage wares, knitwear, millinery, handmade gifts, jewellery, and myriad gifts and accessories, with all purchases being popped in a specially-made printed cotton shopper. There's also a bumper booty bag up for grabs, filled with vintage and handmade gifts from a selection of exhibitors, and the usual treats in their very own Cake Salon – y'know tiny sandwiches, jammy scones, and homemade buns served on floral china.

MUSIC

6. Book Yer Ane Fest

Kage & Dexter's Bar, Dundee

Fri 2-Sun 4 Dec, Various times, £20 (weekend pass)

Dundee gets a look in this week, and rightly so, what with the racket that's set to emanate from Book Yer Ane Fest over the weekend. Nearly 40 DIY acts of the hardcore persuasion will take to the stage over the three-day billing, with the likes of Pensioner (pictured), The Slow Death, Billy Liar, The Barents Sea, Chris T-T, Esperi, The Murderburgers, and Leatherface amongst 'em. We're particularly enjoying the visual images conjured by a fair few of them. You can download your own 20-track mix album here for a quid. All profits go to Safe-Tay.

CLUBS

7. Gasoline Dance Machine w/ Erol Alkan

Cabaret Voltaire, Edinburgh

Sat 3 Dec, 10.30pm, £13 (advance)

Our big drunken Saturday night-er looks like being Erol Alkan's rather special set at Gasoline Dance Machine, where the prolific remixer extraordinaire drops the Scottish debut of his Disco 3000 set, a musical journey through his influences of disco, likely rebooted with added synths. He'll be joined by the inimitable residents – Cheap Picasso, and Kris Wasabi – while Glasgow's Thunder Disco Club man the second room. Get a wee taster of Alkan's set with Part 1 of his Disco 3000 remix set.

ART

8. The Arches Emporium

The Arches, Glasgow

Sat 3 Dec, 12.30pm-5.30pm, Free

Transporting us once again from our own little world into a magical new one, The Arches host their carnival-styled mini market, a colourful all-day arts and craft fair held in their cavernous lair (all hand-decorated and resplendent for the occasion, naturally). There will be a selection of stalls selling handmade crafts, fashion and accessories, art prints, and homewares (including hand-knitted goodies from Modify Projects, up-cycled jewellery from Silly Stina, and vintage accessories from Pretty Cuckoo), plus a live DJ soundtrack from the Homebass and Diversion DJs.

MUSIC

9. Young Fathers

Sneaky Pete's, Edinburgh

Fri 2 Dec, 7pm, £5

The chirpy Scottish hip-hop trio that is Young Fathers return with their rather glorious line in DIY rap, plus synchronised dance moves, naturally. They'll be previewing tracks from their debut album (due early 2012), and in the meantime you can download a brand new mini mixtape here, by clicking on the smiley young boy's face (something we hope never to type again). Ticket stubs get you £1 entry to This Is Music's after-bash, and they promise free chicken and rice for all gig early-comers.

ART

10. Pecha Kucha

Tramway, Glasgow

Thu 1 Dec, 7pm, £4.50 (£3.50)

We end on an artful note, as the Pecha Kucha returns with another fast-pased and eclectic image-led discussions (y'know the drill, a dozen or so creative speakers get a quota of 20 slides, to show and discuss for just 20 seconds each). And our very own Editor has co-curated this one, so you're in safe hands. Included on the bill is technicolour-favouring Glasgow-based artist Rachel MacLean, photographer Ross Fraser McLean (talking about getting kidnapped in India), and Correcto's Bob McCaffrey and Danny Saunders, who have written a new song for the occasion. As in, we're there.