Around the World in 20 Drinks: The Netherlands

It has to be said that the millionaire playboy stars of the hip-hop game have it tough. OK, they get to perform to adoring fans and stage lavish parties, but think of all that money they have to waste on ‘ON-TREND BEVERAGE X.’ Thankfully, the Dutch have their back with Vieux, or Dutch Brandy.

Vieux started life as a direct rip-off of Cognac, albeit a bit cheaper and without the same glamour. When the French got wind of those pesky Dutch rip-off artists calling their spirit Cognac, the Dutch drop’s name was changed to Vieux – the French word for old. The drink did the 1960s equivalent of going viral, Dutch distillers managed to nick some French prestige and get away with it, and now hip-hop has a low-cost alternative to Courvoisier. Everyone’s happy (if you ignore the French).

Jenever on the other hand is basically a prototype for gin that’s still hanging around even though the finished product is everywhere. There are two varieties – young Jenever which has your standard clear spirit hallmarks (neutral smell and a hefty kick), and old Jenever which is darker, smoother and less of a slap in the face than its younger counterpart. But what if you fancy something even smoother, viscous even? Well, the Dutch have got a present for you.

Yes, it’s that favourite of the old lady’s drinks cabinet Advocaat. The bright yellow colour and weird consistency are odd enough, but the fact that the ingredients list is basically custard plus brandy just makes things even stranger. Oh, then there’s the fact that thick advocaat seen across the region is often consumed with a spoon. That’s not really how you do drinking, Dutch people, but you have given us a brilliant idea for a nightclub scene in Jay-Z’s next video.