Food News – Fringe Special

August is here, and it's brought company. So for one month only, we devote the Food & Drink section to helping you through the cultural jungle of the Fringe as well as making sure non-Edinburghers aren't left out. You're welcome

Feature by Peter Simpson | 01 Aug 2012

August is always a jam-packed month for us lovers of food and food-related events, so we thought the best thing to do was to hand over this month's section to our Food News column, and run you through 20 of the top culinary-themed events, performances and pop-ups to see across Scotland. And we will be running, people, so get your trainers on.

We'll begin in the early morning with artist Anthony Schrag, as he takes you on an early morning tour of Edinburgh, then provides you with a free breakfast and a cup of tea. Explore the city as you've never seen it before, interacting with the landscape of a snoozing metropolis, whilst also subtly ramping up the group's walking pace to get to the breakfast before you remember what time it is. Edinburgh Art Festival Pavilion, St. Andrew Sq; 19 Aug, 7am

Breakfast moves us neatly on to eggs, and An Eggcellent Adventure. It feels odd to type the following sentence, but here goes: This is a part-musical, part-theatrical look at the trials and tribulations of the egg. Yep, that's a thing that exists. Lauriston Hall, Lauriston St; 7-9 Aug, 4.15pm

While that egg-based play may attract your ire, the work of Spanish restaurant El Bulli is nearly as odd, yet met with universal acclaim. It's cultural snobbery, is what it is. Anyway, El Bulli: Cooking in Progress is a new documentary taking you deep inside the bubble of Ferran Adrià for a rare look at how the Michelin-starred chef operates. Does he use a kettle? Does he like crisps? Is he just joking most of the time and can't believe he gets away with it? Answers to some of these questions and more await! Glasgow Film Theatre, Rose St; 17-19 Aug, times vary

Ferran may run one of the world's top restaurants, but to our knowledge he's never combined dinner service with a two-hour improvised comedy show. On that point at least, an Australian dressed as Basil Fawlty has Ferran's number. The Faulty Towers Dining Experience combines the twin joys of a slap-up dinner and the violent slapstick abuse of waiters, returning for a fifth straight Fringe of improvised comic theatre in a real, proper restaurant. Expect a three-course meal, plenty of laughs, and some accents that were first devised in the 1970s and are therefore fine to laugh at. B'Est, Drummond St; 2-28 Aug, times vary

If you'd rather have priest-based teatime entertainment, then head along to Ted & Co. It's basically the same concept as the Faulty Towers show, but with Father Ted! It's improvised, so you can try and throw the actors off their marks by asking why three priests and their housekeeper would invite so many heathen strangers round for dinner! There will be three courses! Grosvenor Hotel, Grosvenor St; 10, 11, 24, 25 Aug, 7.30pm

And if you'd rather go for a more avant-garde dining experience, head down to La Concepta. Head Chef Simon Munnery awaits to serve up a menu of art, dance, music and general oddness, ably assisted by Messrs Munnery, Munnery and Munnery. Be ready for an array of entirely-convincing disguises, and a feast of surreal comedy you can fit in your lunch break. Whitespace, Randolph Pl; 4-25 Aug (Not 14), 12.10pm/ 1.10pm 

If any Edinburghers are looking through this article and getting ready to whinge about all their free space being snaffled by 'performers' and 'creative people', we have some news for you: Innis & Gunn are opening a pop-up bar for the Festival. It will be the first place in the world to stock their complete range under one roof, as well as hosting beers and spirits from across Scotland. There will be daily tasting sessions, and the whole lot is shambling distance away from the venue for that telly comedian you like. So stop your complaining. 32 Potterrow; 11am – 3am all month

Now, cheese. The Guild of Cheesemakers extend an invite to an evening of fine wine, bread and various dairy products. There's also something here about...“a mysterious, supernatural cheese”? Yes, this is a clever and haunting piece of theatre about cheese, with the added bonus of getting to eat the stuff alongside the drama. Summerhall, Summerhall Cres; 14-18 Aug, 10pm

From cheddar-based theatre to whisky-based storytelling, and seeing as it's August you've got two options to choose from. In the red corner, we have Villains, Heroes and Adventurers, set in the resplendent Board Room at Jenners. There are uncommon whiskies to try, stories of ill-fated polar explorers to be regaled with, and the whole thing is led by an advisor to the Monte-Carlo Whisky Society. Not a word of a lie, the Monte-Carlo Whisky Society. Valvona & Crolla Foodhall, Jenners, Princes St; 7-13, 16-25 Aug, various times

And in the blue corner, we have a stand-up comedian in a pub basement. Alan Anderson is the man in charge of Whisky For Dafties, and he'll aim to take you on a whistle-stop tour of the national drink armed with nothing more than six single malts and his natural wit. Whether or not he'll discuss the art of exploration is unclear, but it couldn't hurt to bring it up. The Tron, Hunter Sq; 2-12, 15-26 Aug, 9pm

Sticking with alcohol, we feel it's important to point out that one should always drink responsibly, especially at this time of year. With that in mind, Shit-Faced Shakespeare, ladies and gentlemen! A straight piece of Shakespeare, given added oomph courtesy of the demon booze. The press notes warn that it will be 'raucous', but we'd hedge a fiver on 'shambolic' and/or 'enlightening'. C Venues, Chambers St; 1-27 Aug (Not 13), 10.20pm

We can't have wasted actors getting all the attention and ruining the fun for everyone, so as a corrective measure we'll highlight The Thinking Drinker's Guide to Alcohol. The title alone suggests a show that's refined, civilized, and well-heeled. Oh, what's that? Six free drinks to get through, while our hosts run through a brief history of recorded society and invoke the memories of Ernest Hemingway and Adolf Hitler? Excuse us while we book our tickets right this moment. Assembly Rooms, George St; 2-26 Aug, times vary

Right, we're back, and aptly moving from heavy drinking to war. Opal Lounge's Bar Wars competition sees barmen from four of the Edinburgh's top bars fight it out to impress a cadre of judges with their cocktail-making skills, while the public watch on and try not to salivate all over themselves. We recommend forming your own 'alternative' judging panel and providing 'helpful' advice to the contestants. War shouldn't be easy, after all. Opal Lounge, George St; 20 Aug, 8pm

Life can be pretty cruel sometimes. You sit all year waiting for a food-themed piece of theatre to come along, then two arrive at once. The first, Salt and Pepper, centres on an infatuated restaurant patron and his relationship with one of the waitresses, scoring points for awkward relevance to a large section of the audience as well as frightening the bejesus out of coffee shop people everywhere. Spaces, North Bridge; 6-16 Aug, times vary

The second is all about a door-to-door meat salesman, and not in a euphemistic sense either. US Beef weaves a tangled web of deception, corporate greed and animal slaughter. It is, apparently, both “musical” and “comical”. If you're a little confused right now, it's OK. So are we. Pleasance Dome, Potterrow, 1-27 Aug (Not 15), 12:20pm

Next, sausages. Stop laughing at the back. Mary Contini of Valvona & Crolla fame has written a book all about the most hilarious of Italian meat products, and will be discussing said book alongside a bit of a chit-chat and some other surprises at this Book Festival event. Don't go if you have a low tolerance for innuendo, as you may end up hyperventilating while trying to stifle a snigger. Charlotte Sq Gardens; 11 Aug, 12pm

Elsewhere in book-land, Alys Fowler and Steve Benbow combine the dual pleasures of wild food and urban beekeeping as they plug their latest tomes in this collaborative talk. Learn some tips to pick up free grub, find out how you can start your own bee hive without attracting more stings than Sven Goran-Eriksson, and prepare to feel bad for chasing insects around your flat with a rolled-up newspaper. Charlotte Sq Gardens; 22 Aug, 3.30pm

Finally, here are some outdoor events to make up for the fact you'll be spending most of your time indoors this month. Foodies Festival has a whole host of stalls and demonstrations, and offers the chance to nab some samples and then throw them at Tim Vine as punishment for his terrible punning. Holyrood Park, 10-12 Aug

Best of the West Festival at Inverary Castle offers local produce, live music and a lovely setting that the press notes allege to be haunted. It isn't, because ghosts don't exist, but it's nice to see they're trying to drum up interest. Inverary Castle, 15-16 Aug

But the king of this month's outdoor events takes place in Dundee. The annual Food and Flower Festival (Camperdown Park, Dundee; 31 Aug-2 Sept) has the usual mix of people off the telly and free stuff to pilfer, but holds two trump cards over the opposition – the presentation of the World Jam Awards, and a Chilli Village complete with talks, growing seminars, and (to quote the press notes) 'stalls selling Chilli-related products.' And as we said at the start, we don't just love food, we also love food-related events. We hope that's apparent, as we're off for a lie down and will see you back here in September.