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No Sex Please, We're American
Gay marriage is legal in California (again) and conservative Christian groups are trying to make it illegal (again). Sex toys are banned in Alabama, while Texas only legalised them in 2008. Why is the USA – which supposedly prides itself on 'liberty and justice for all' – so un-libertarian about sexuality?
It's well-known that US film censors are harsher on sex scenes than on violence, whereas in Europe the situation is reversed. Perhaps Americans think that we liberal Europeans are all shagging in the street, but a few on-screen willies don't appear to have caused biblical plagues to rain down on us. In the US a PG-13 film can contain fairly graphic violence, but not even a flash of pubic hair. What harm can be done with a scene of consenting sex? Would the fabric of society really crumble if a few Alabamans played with a sex swing or a strap-on in the privacy of their own homes? Perhaps I'm just a smut-peddling European, but I don't think anal beads are as dangerous as a handgun. Yet you're more likely to see a gunfight in a Hollywood film than a depiction of happy, healthy men and women having consensual sex. You're even less likely to see a gay sex scene.
A friend living in Tennessee recently visited me in Glasgow, and was surprised that my girlfriend and I hold hands in the street. "In America," she said, "people would yell insults at you for doing that." We're not strangers to the odd shout of "LEZZIE!" from a group of idiot kids, but I've never felt that anyone was particularly against us being a couple. Most people in Scotland don't seem to care about other people's sex lives – which is exactly how it should be. But in a US state like Tennessee, holding my girlfriend's hand would be an intensely political (and potentially dangerous) statement. Unfortunately, right-wing Christians make up a significant percentage of the US population, and boy can they shout loudly. It's easy to write off the Westboro 'GOD HATES FAGS' Baptists as crazy freaks, but a less aggressive though equally anti-gay sentiment exists in thousands of otherwise sane Americans. This bigotry is by no means shared by the entire population, but it's by no means insignificant either.
But why do we care what's happening hundreds of miles across the sea, when US laws don't affect us in the UK? Because America exports its culture in a way no other country does. Think of the last five films you watched, songs you heard, or websites you visited – I bet at least one is from the US. The more ubiquitous American culture becomes, the more we're in danger of absorbing aspects of their morals and views. Anti-gay laws exist in other countries, but their culture is nowhere near as pervasive as US culture in other countries.
It's not that gay marriage matters to me as such. It might be nice to wear a big dress and throw some flowers, but I don't care whether my girlfriend and I sign a bit of paper and double-barrel our names. Not every LGBT person wants to get married, and that's fine – no-one's forcing gold rings on fingers. But restricting freedoms that don't hurt or even affect anyone else is unacceptable. Telling people they can't have the same rights because of their sexuality is unacceptable. You should care about sexuality-based laws because denying people the basic right to love who they choose, and to express that love, is unacceptable.
You know what, America? People have sex. People have always had sex,
which is why we all exist. Trying to deny that fact – to make consensual sex seem immoral or shameful – will not make for healthy, happy citizens. You can try to fight progress if you like, but all you'll achieve is a rise in your blood pressure.
LGBT equality is another sign of progress, and rest assured it is going to happen. Canada, South Africa, Argentina and the Netherlands all have same-sex marriage and as far as I can tell the sun has not imploded. The UK legalised civil partnerships in 2004 and we're tootling along just fine. Listen: the rest of the western world is not cheering on these restrictions of freedom. We're not wishing that we too could go ass-backwards instead of sensibly forwards. We know you'll see sense eventually and join the rest of us in the 21st century – we just wish you'd hurry the fuck up.
Comments (6)
Add a comment »have to disagree with the above comment, apart from the main thrust of the argument - that gay marriage should be legal in a civilised modern society - i think this is a very bad and an uninformed or misleading article. of course there are puritanical reactionary bigots who say "god hates fags" - as there are here, in droves - let's be honest. no matter how much wishful thinking goes on, scotland and britain as a whole is a sexually repressed country compared to other parts of the world, the USA included. the USA may lead the world's default heterocentric culture via Hollywood and it's TV shows, by the same token it also undoubtedly leads the world in it's example of a liberated gay lifestyle and acceptability of different lifestyles in general - that is a fact. So - my problem with the article isn't it's main (emotional) argument, it's the sloppy two dimensional america bashing which to me only goes to ironically highlight the provincial outlook of the author.
Posted by | Friday September 2010 @ 08:25
Report to moderatorAmerica and sex is a very odd one indeed. It's a big country, probably encompassing more distinct cultural views than Europe, so to the outsider it can seem like a mess of contradictions on many issues and sex is the perfect example.
I have some sympathy with the previous poster, but I don't think Kirtsy’s being 'provincial', just a little slack towards the end. This is a really interesting, complex topic, which deserves more work and less presumption than it’s given here.Posted by | Monday September 2010 @ 16:07
Report to moderatorWhile it is true that in America there's a lot of supression about sex and sexuality, I have to say i don't think it's fair to use the Westboro lunatics to catagorise all Christian right-wing folks. That's totally harsh. I'm ana American living in the UK and I'm no more or less sexual than I was when I lived in America and it's not because of a social attitude. Everyone in the states thinks British people are prudes in tweed leggings. In my sex life, I don't use anal beads simply because I don't want to, not because I think my society will outcast me. Besides, in the Christian religion, while it is believed to save yourself for marriage it is totally believed that you should do and use whatever you and your spouse want so long as you are respecting one another and both are happy.
By the way, I'm an American, middle ground politically, Christian, and I've slept in a bed with a lesbian mroe than once without accusing her of rapePosted by | Wednesday September 2010 @ 00:34
Report to moderatorAnd by the way, the last sentence in this article just makes you look bad. Sorry we don't sleep with whomever whenever just because we feel like it but there are plenty of people in Britain who aren't gay, aren't having sex all the time, and I even know plenty (outwith church and Christianity who aren't even prude Americans) who are waiting for marriage, not because of culteral supression but because they respect their future partner that much and know that sleeping around can (and I know it doesn't always) lead to pregnancy, disease, and most of all, heart break. Man, what stupid idiots we are!
Posted by | Wednesday September 2010 @ 00:38
Report to moderatorHannah - Of course, the counter argument to that would be that my long term partner now benefits from the experience I gained having lots of fun, safe sex in my teens and at university. I respect anyone who decides to abstain, but I don't buy the argument that there are strong practical reasons for doing so.
And I'll have you know that tweed leggings can be profoundly erotic.
Posted by | Wednesday September 2010 @ 10:45
Report to moderatorI have to say that the most open minded sexual partner I've had was American...I also find that Scotland can be as vile as anywhere else when it comes to same sex relationships and the UK's attitude towards sex in general is pretty loathsome and backwards at times.
Posted by | Wednesday September 2010 @ 13:25
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